Chapel of Hope Stories

Dear Reader:

When we were all in the school…the only quotient that appeared to be important was one called our “I.Q.” ...Intelligence Quotient. 

Teachers always seemed to be impressed with the students’ school records that showed a high I. Q. (Intelligence Quotient) They would brag about how many students they had that year with above average I.Q’s. It was going to be a good year.

It takes some time to realize… after we leave school behind…that the strong emphasis on our I.Q. numbers was misplaced….there is another quotient that is much more reliable at predicting our success in life.

It is called our “A.Q.” Adversity Quotient.   The higher the level…the more tolerance and endurance we show for the adversities life is going to throw at us. Unfortunately, in education test assessors prefer the objective intelligence quotient assessments over the more subjective adversity quotient.

Education gets so caught up in crunching statistics concerning curriculum scores that it forgets the basic reason for school and learning…to prepare students for the world they will enter…and we all know that world is filled with adversities.

While trying to think of a title photo to match the message in this blog post…”Big Red” immediately sprang to mind. Here is a red geranium, given to me about this time, seven years ago, following my first biopsy/mastectomy.

It was a gift which arrived the day I returned home from the hospital in 2008…and ever since… the geranium has persevered through over-watering crises, forgetting to water crises, and forgetting to bring it inside frozen crises.

“Big Red” has lost leaves, color, and most of its limbs (to a hard freeze last year)…but it still perseveres…it’s “A.Q” is extremely high. In fact “Big Red” has been my mentor through all the treatments surrounding my medical problems and is still alive and well today.

If we stop a minute and think…we can all recall that student from school that cruised through all the math and science courses that were kicking everyone else’s arses. Everything came easy, it appeared, to this student. Good athlete, popular, and extremely smart.

So we are shocked (at the first 10 year reunion) when we hear that this particular colleague has had a nervous break-down when he/she failed a course in college, didn’t pass the BAR, was diagnosed with a serious disease, marriage disintegrated, or was fired.

Everything had come so easy, it appeared, to this individual…what happened? Everything had come TOO easy to this individual. He/she wasn’t prepared for the unknown adversities that lurked in the big world we call home.

He/she hadn’t been taught that the two most important tools one must carry through life are perseverance and faith.

I was blessed in this way…as tough as it was going through much tragic loss in my family so early on….I was able to watch my mother’s “A.Q” soar into the sky. She could do more with one hand than I have ever been able to do with two. Determination, perseverance, and faith drove mother to succeed in life beyond anyone’s wildest imagination.

Today there is a new term researchers use for another indicator for success in life….social connectedness. (Source: Dancing/Journey/ Kate Wolf-Jenson)

“Social connectedness” describes the quality and number of associations we have with other people. Those with higher scores get sick less often, have higher self-esteem and empathy, better emotional regulation skills, lower rates of anxiety and depression. In other words, they are healthier, happier and lead longer lives. This is one of those common-sense-borne-out-by-research notions.

Here’s what’s lovely: it’s our subjective sense of connection, not the actual number of friends, that’s important. It is the close friends who we talk to daily that help us define and see ourselves more positively through their eyes and encouragement.

Sadly…having lots of “friends” on Facebook will never bring the same satisfaction than that one friend who makes him/herself available at a moment’s notice for you…through good times and bad.

We must stay connected to community, close friends and family, nature, and persons who share our inner beliefs that we are all connected as children of our universe through our Creator.

These are the connections that will raise our “A.Q.” levels and help us find our way through life.

So until tomorrow …”Never give up”….God hasn’t… so neither should we…just keep on keeping on. LIFE IS WORTH IT!

“Today is my favorite day”  Winnie the Pooh

* I love how the morning glories are climbing the fence…so beautiful! They make me smile each morning!

* Anne found the perfect scripture for the blog post: To Bear Fruit for as Long as We Can

Psalm 92:12-15
“The righteous will flourish like a palm tree,they will grow like a cedar of Lebanon; planted in the house of the Lord,they will flourish in the courts of our God. They will still bear fruit in old age,they will stay fresh and green, proclaiming, “The Lord is upright;he is my Rock, and there is no wickedness in him.”

Some of you mentioned that the remarks I made about Lucy didn’t show up on Saturday’s blog….so here they are: (I just realized that Lucy, too, had a very high “A.Q.” !)

“In Memoriam”

To Lucy…the little cat who adopted me and taught me many lessons about trust and perseverance…she overcame many personal “rusty nails” (life’s jolts) but always brought fruits of unconditional love to all she met. I will miss you my little friend but I will remember you with love and picture you romping through the fields…young and vibrant and alive once again.

* A Fun in the Sun Summer Day for Rutledge with his first popsicle…Lathlan is growing like the weeds in my garden!

Dear Reader:

Aging does require a sense of humor, doesn’t it? Most days I just pop all (and I mean all) my pills mindlessly and go on my merry way…grateful to be up and at’em …still in the vertical position in life.

But then come the “other days” when I wonder if all the different parts of me (depending on different medications) are just going to come crashing down around my head one day.

I have come to the conclusion that aging is like playing the old childhood game of “Pick Up Stix.”

Anyone out there, beside me, remember this game? It went like this: a certain number of sticks were randomly thrown on the floor and then each player (on their turn) had to try to remove a stick without disturbing or moving another stick in the process.

(If you did… you lost your turn…but if you removed the stick successfully from the pile without interrupting any others…you got to keep the stick. Whoever had the most sicks at the end of the pile…won.)

Aging, especially with certain medical challenges, requires learning the art of adding one more medication without upsetting all the others you are already taking. Every year the pile of “sticks” grows higher and separating one medication from the others gets harder and harder.

I wish I could blame all my on-going (and more on-going) medications on side effects from “little c” over an extended period…but to play fair…I imagine a little thing…called “age”… just might be contributing to the build-up of sticks surrounding me. Most likely it is a “combo plate” of both.

Some days it takes a “jolt” of memory to send me back to those days (not so long ago … when my thoughts were more “lateral” than “vertical”) to appreciate the option of still being in the   game of “Pick up Stix.”

Prolific writer/author James Michener wrote his autobiography “The World is my Home” at age eighty-five. In it he shared  a powerful childhood memory…an  incident when he was a little country boy of five years of age that he never forgot.

Source: Chicken Soup for the Gardener’s Soul-“Rusty Nails” -James Michener/submitted by Marci E. Brown)

…” The farmer living at the end our lane had an aging apple tree that had once been abundantly productive but had now lost its energy and ability to bear any fruit at all. 

The farmer, one early spring day, hammered eight nails, long and rusty, into the trunk of the tree. Four were knocked in close to the ground on four different sides of the trunk, four higher up and well spaced about the circumference. 

That autumn a miracle happened. The tired old tree, having been goaded back to life, produced a bumper crop of juicy red apples, bigger and better than we had seen before. When I asked how this had happened, the farmer explained:

“Hammerin’ in the rusty nails gave it a shock to remind it that its job is to produce apples.”

“Was it important that the nails were rusty?”

“Maybe it made the minerals in the nails easier to digest.”

“Was eight important?”

“If you’re goin’ to send a message, be sure it’s heard.”

“Could you do the same next year?”

“A substantial jolt lasts about ten years.”

“Will you knock more nails in then?”

“By that time we both may be finished,” he said, but I was unable to verify this prediction, for by that time our family had moved away from the lane.”

” In the 1980’s , when I was nearly eighty years old, I had some fairly large rusty nails hammered into my trunk, too-a quintuple bypass heart surgery, a new left hip, a dental rebuilding, an attack of permanent vertigo…and like a sensible apple tree, I resolved to resume bearing fruit.”

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So until tomorrow…Father remind me to complain no more…just hand me another pill and I will gulp it down happily, along with the other rusty nails, because we all need a jolt now and then to continue bearing Your gifts given to us to others …for as long as we can.

“Today is my favorite day”  Winnie the Pooh

* In case you didn’t see the “add-on” to the blog (added on around 10:30 yesterday morning)   …you might have missed the sad news of our funny little cat… Lucy’s passing.

* Lucy’s “In Memoriam” eulogy is in yesterday’s blog if you want to go back a day and see it.

Libby sent me this wonderful little story that she was given when her dog died several years ago. I thought some of you might be interested in having a copy to send friends when they experience the loss of a pet.

To: Rebecca Barbour Dingle

In Memory of: Lucy

June 6, 2015

“The Rainbow Bridge”

There is a bridge connecting heaven and earth. It is called the Rainbow Bridge because of its many colors. Just this side of the Rainbow Bridge is a land of meadows, hills and valleys, and all covered in lush green grass.

When a beloved pet dies, the pet goes to this lovely land. There is always food and water and warm spring weather. There, the old and frail animals are young again.   Those who are sick are made whole once more. They play all day with each other, happy and comfortable.

There is only one thing missing. They are not with the special ones who loved them on earth. So each day they run and play until the day comes when one stops playing and looks up!   Then, the nose twitches and the ears perk up…you have been seen, and that one suddenly runs from the group!

You and your special friend meet again and you take them into your arms. You are able to look again into the eyes of your beloved pet.   Then, together you cross the Rainbow Bridge ….Never to be separated again.

         Author Unknown

The garden won’t be the same without our little princess reigning over it…in her favorite spot inside the moon gate.

She began hanging out around my house soon after mother’s death several years ago. I thought it was ironic since mother’s name was Lucille. It was as if she needed to come check on me each day to make sure I was okay. Perhaps Lucy was my ‘guardian angel’ mom sent to look over me.

Then about three years ago…(when she looked like she was on her last leg) I started giving her some extra snacks when she came to visit… from then on…Suzanne was mother…but I was her favorite Aunt Becky.

She watched the deck go up with interest because she decided that would be her favorite resting spot. Then when the garden came along she loved following me around each morning to check on all the plants.

She especially loved sitting in the wicker chair with the large fern in the warm afternoons and lying on the benches in the garden in the evening to listen to the fountain gurgle and the lights come on. The garden was her sanctuary too!

I will miss my ‘special guardian of the garden’….thank you God for sending this little friend into my life…she was very special …a God’s Wink when I needed one! Lucy was very tired and now it is her time to be looked after by her Creator.

* Late yesterday afternoon as I returned home from running some errands…a big white moon flower bloom was shining in the hot afternoon sun off the porch….so unusual…moon flowers like to bloom in the evening….Perhaps a sign to let me know Lucy is happy to be home again.

So in honor of Lucy…the first full moon flower bloom will named for her….Lucy, the Moon Flower Bloom of summer/2015

* Photo of one of Boo’s “Bliss Stations” in life!

Dear Reader:

A couple of weeks ago I had my regular oncology appointment with Dr. Silgals. He was asking me how things were going and how I was feeling….my energy level.  I was about to respond with my usual reply: “Great…everything is just great.”

But suddenly “great” wasn’t great enough. Was I feeling “content“…yes…but more than that…“happy” ….yes…but more than that…I pulled a blank moment…and all that came out..was “Giddy“…I just feel “giddy” to be alive.

Dr. Silgals nodded and smiled…the word fit the moment. To surface from chemo treatments, hormone treatments, radiation treatments, and intensive surgeries with my heart and soul still intact…”Giddy” with delight for life was certainly appropriate.

When I got home Friday afternoon from my stay at Mt. Pleasant ( babysitting two of my beautiful grandchildren) I checked my emails and Honey had sent me a link that she thought I would appreciate. It was on finding “bliss.”

“Bliss”…I thought to myself…now that was the word I was really searching for in my doctor’s office. Honey went on to say that she found her “bliss” in the mountains of North Carolina with her new passion….pottery. And I had found my initial bliss in the NC mountains also through St. Jude’s Chapel of Hope, then through blogging and gardening. We were two lucky “blissful” people!

Three places of complete bliss…my first bliss was St. Jude’s Chapel of Hope…followed a month later with the blog, followed three years later with the deck and garden.

The thing about finding our “bliss” is that there can be more than just one special place…I happen to have three but first we must dig deep and find it inside each of us.

I took some time to read the article (Honey sent) originally written back in the 1980’s…and it was just as appropriate now as then. Here are three excerpts from the article and a link if you would like to read the whole article.

Source: “How to Find Your Bliss” – Joseph John Campbell

If you follow your bliss, you put yourself on a kind of track that has been there all the while, waiting for you, and the life that you ought to be living is the one you are living.

Wherever you are — if you are following your bliss, you are enjoying that refreshment, that life within you, all the time.

[Sacred space] is an absolute necessity for anybody today. You must have a room, or a certain hour or so a day, where you don’t know what was in the newspapers that morning, you don’t know who your friends are, you don’t know what you owe anybody, you don’t know what anybody owes to you.

This is a place where you can simply experience and bring forth what you are and what you might be. This is the place of creative incubation. At first you may find that nothing happens there. But if you have a sacred place and use it, something eventually will happen.

If you do follow your bliss you put yourself on a kind of track that has been there all the while, waiting for you, and the life that you ought to be living is the one you are living. When you can see that, you begin to meet people who are in the field of your bliss, and they open the doors to you. I say, follow your bliss and don’t be afraid, and doors will open where you didn’t know they were going to be.”

https://shar.es/12vegF

………………………….

So until tomorrow…if you’re reading this blog…then you are alive…and if, for no other reason, you should be filled with bliss.

“Today is my favorite day”  Winnie the Pooh

* Libby, the last Chicken Man painting receiver, finally got her original painting of her family at the beach for her birthday….So glad we all have our state memory of blissful times together through Chicken Man drawings. (Jackson, Libby, and sister Linda)

* Thursday night Tommy and Kaitlyn picked me up to join Kaitlyn’s parents (Butch and Susan) for dinner out…we went to the Mustard Seed in Mt. Pleasant (sure do miss the one in Summerville)….the food and company were extra special…lots of fun!

* John took my car Friday and had it cleaned from top to bottom as thanks for keeping those precious grandchildren…The car cleaning company even got off my famous two stripes of white paint( located on the front passenger side) I got getting too close (twice) to the freshly painted cement barriers at the Shell Station on Main Street.

* Farewell little Turners from Boo Boo…who loves you…the house sounds mighty quiet tonight without you two in it!

(Eva Cate made a hand puppet and colored it Friday during out art center time…and then she got a package from Joan (Grandmother Be-Be) who sent her a “Frozen” gown to take to Disney World. She was beyond excited!

Jakie is so snuggly…he just likes to lie on the floor with his “Linus Blanket” and stare back at you with his big blue eyes!

Fun just being together at the Turner Home…a “Blissful Place”

* I hate to end on a sad note today…but about 9:30 this morning my neighbor, Lucy’s owner, left to take her to the vet to have her put down. We both  cried our eyes out…but we could tell she was in pain and suffering.

She appeared on the porch this morning around 8:30…I put out her usual food and water which she slowly nibbled  and she took a few sips of water….but I could tell something was wrong with her backside. Her back paws kept slipping out from under her. When she tried to go down the steps…she tumbled all the way down…leaving her dazed and confused. Just heart-breaking.

Suzanne and I think she must have either gotten hit by a car or truck or was suffering from hind quarters paralysis ….Lucy was fourteen and gave the neighborhood many good years of her gracious, gentle presence…she was quite a lady.

(Last Friday evening she had even joined Linda, Ann, and I for a tea party (dessert) out on the deck…hopping into the extra chair and acting like she figured she was invited too.)

In Memoriam- Lucy

To Lucy…the little cat who adopted me and taught me many lessons about trust and perseverance…she overcame many personal “rusty nails” (life’s jolts) but always brought fruits of unconditional love to all she met. I will miss you my friend.

Dear Reader:

I came to realize long ago that I am definitely not an audio-learner…I need to see and feel things to understand how they work.

Most of us can remember taking Music Appreciation if we attended a liberal arts college like myself. I remember our professor would ask us to raise our hands every time we heard a certain refrain being played and then identify the different instruments playing it… disguised within unique modifications of the tune.

My upraised hand was never in sync with the music majors (who were stuck taking this basic class in music too). The whole semester…I felt like I was out of sync- my ears were never trained to hear the musical patterns right before me.

It has only been since the deck and garden have come into existence that I, finally, understand the subtle rhythms of life playing all around me.

Yesterday morning the blackbirds were “cawing” away. One bird would “Caw, Caw, Caw” while another crow far off would respond with just one “Caw.” I found myself tapping my foot to the rhythm…I finally understood that old music lesson on locating and finding repetitive refrains….birds know how to do it naturally.

I found an interesting article about the rhythm of gardens… created by “refrains” or patterns

Source: “Designing Rhythm and Movement in Your Garden“- Julian Tatlock.

Creating a rhythm to your garden will help create a natural flow and movement to your garden.

Rhythm can be created within your garden by the use of repeated elements such as; plants, hard landscaping and structures, these repeated elements unify the garden design and help create a sense of movement, leading the eye through the garden, from the foreground to the more distant parts of garden.

By contrast, in an empty garden with nothing between the house and the back fence, apart from say a lawn, the eye tends to go straight to the back of the garden and as a result the garden feels small and uninteresting;

Add planting with repeated shapes, textures and colour and the garden immediately takes on another dimension and feels richer and more diverse.

Your eyes instead of darting to the back of the garden are slowed down and taken on a journey as they take in the various elements. This makes the visual experience richer and more uplifting.

The article showed lovely photos of structured English gardens with precise repetitions of certain plants and bushes. (Obviously …not my garden.)

I think I have created a “Jazz” garden…which doesn’t follow any particular pattern (except the path) or refrain…it is just “out there” for the pure enjoyment of just “being” a garden.

I have discovered that planting tall plants, like irises and lilies…create a musical refrain/pattern within a garden….small plants…tall plants…small plants…tall plants.

Besides just creating rhythms through physical patterns in a garden…(if we stop and listen to the garden)…we can, also, hear it breathe.

These moments come when a petal softly falls from a plant…buzzing bees are gathering nectar from a flower, birds light on a bird feeder for nourishment, tree branches sway in the breeze, rain pitter-patters on the plants and then  rain drops fall to the ground.

It is during those times of complete silence…when we can actually feel the breath of God around us…that we find ourselves in tune with the world. We no longer feel out of sync wondering why we can’t hear what others effortlessly can.

One interesting article I came across said that Jesus showed us how to live within life’s natural rhythm….

Source: “Jesus’ Rhythms of Life and Find Rest in a Fast-Paced Culture” 

Jesus modeled four basic rhythms for life. Since he offers abundant life to his followers, then the rhythms of his life should provide the best model for us to consider.

Jesus’ spiritual life flowed out of an intimate relationship with God and provided the focus for everything he did. Jesus paused regularly in his daily work to listen to God and directed his life according to God’s instructions.

1) Major decisions were preceded by nights spent praying for God’s direction. How much less stress would we suffer if we gave this kind of priority to prayer? Reconnecting to God throughout the day renews spiritual energy. Listening to God during decision-making processes enriches our lives and brings us closer to God.

2) Jesus’ second priority was community. He was often with others teaching, instructing, and reaching out with God’s love and compassion. He enjoyed great fun, food, and fellowship too. Nurturing friendships and family, encouraging co-workers, enjoying fun times together, and celebrating with others should also be part of our spiritual rhythms. One couple I know freed up an evening each week to invite neighbors over. Their whole family participated with enthusiasm. As a result, God is accomplishing amazing things in their community.

3)The third rhythm that characterized Jesus’ life was his work-not putting bread on the table but serving God through Kingdom ministry. Like Jesus, we are meant to bring hope, healing, and salvation, helping others look forward to a world where there will be no crying, hunger, or pain. This doesn’t mean we will all become pastors or missionaries, but we can start by encouraging colleagues and offering a helping hand to elderly neighbors.

4) Jesus’ fourth rhythm was rest. “Come to me all you who are weary and burdened and I will give your rest” (Mt 11:28). Medical research suggests that regular sleep habits boost the body’s immune systems. Afternoon siestas increase productivity so much that more can be accomplished than if we keep busy all day. Daily rest and weekly sabbaths reconnect us to God’s rhythm of rest and refreshment.

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So until tomorrow…Let us pause and listen for our rhythm of life…it is found in every thing and every one around us. God is a great conductor if we stay tuned into His gift of music.

“Today is my favorite day”  Winnie the Pooh

* When I got home Wednesday evening…look what was beginning to unfurl…the first moon flower of the season!

Dear Reader:

After Memorial Day weekend…I decided to leave my flags up…in several plant containers around the yard…this one blowing in the breeze from the front barrel.

After all June has several historic events in it…Flag Day is approaching on the 14th and then we have the Battle of Sullivan’s Island on the 28th…with our favorite son, Swamp Fox/Francis Marion fighting the British to save our beautiful Charleston, and the Fourth of July/Independence Day  not far behind…a quite patriotic month!

As I took the title photo…my thoughts about this blog were (originally) leaning towards a patriotic story from my teachings on South Carolina and American History.

Then when I entered the photos to my computer desktop I noticed that the red gerber petals were slowly waning in their beauty…slowly being replaced by dark stains penetrating the bloom.

For neighbors passing down the street…I am sure they didn’t pick up on the stains darkening the red bloom…a casual glance at the flag and flower didn’t reveal the growing stains until one gets “upclose and personal.”

Isn’t this true of all our lives? We, too, bear stains from life…from past experiences while living it. Some stains are harder to see than others. We have to look hard and deep into another fellowman’s eyes to see the pain of the stains.

As my brother (still) awaits the results of his final pension settlement …his scars have been harder to see at first glance . But he is the face of millions of veterans who didn’t become homeless or drug addicts…they simply covered their stains (the best they could) and tried to pretend what they experienced as  teenagers in a faraway country (Vietnam) could be erased.

Stains, however, don’t work that way…do they? In fact most stains grow larger without help. The secret to overcoming stains is to cover them with something of beauty and joy…like what happened in the following true story.

Source: Article: ” A Tale about Turning a Stain into a Masterpiece”- The Stonewall Argus& Teulon Times- Dr. Henry a Ozirney

The other evening I heard an a fascinating true story. It was about an incident that occurred over 100 years ago, in a Scottish seaside inn.

A group of fishermen were relaxing after a long day at sea. As a serving maid was walking past with a pot of tea, one of the fishers made a sweeping gesture to describe the size of the fish he claimed to have caught. His hand collided with the teapot and sent it crashing against the whitewashed wall, where its contents left an irregular brown splotch.

Standing nearby, the innkeeper surveyed the damage. “That stain will never come out,” he said. “The whole wall will have to be repainted.”

“Perhaps not.” All eyes turned to the stranger who had just spoken.

“What do you mean?” asked the innkeeper.

“Let me work with the stain,” said the stranger. “If my work meets your approval, you won’t need to repaint the wall.”

The stranger picked up a box and went to the wall. He withdrew pencils, brushes, and some glass jars of linseed oil and pigment. He began to sketch lines around the stain and fill it in here and there with dabs of colour and swashes of shading. The random splashes of tea had been turned into the image of a stag with a magnificent rack of antlers. At the bottom of the picture, the man inscribed his signature.

The innkeeper was stunned when he examined the wall. “Do you know who that man was?” he asked in amazement. ‘The signature reads “E.H. Landseer.”

Indeed, they had been visited by the well-known painter of wildlife, Sir Edwin Landseer.”

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It is when we turn our stains into something to help others…that they diminish in everyone’s eyes… the secret solution to stain removal.

So until tomorrow…Help us Father acknowledge our stains and then move on towards living a life to help others from the lessons we learned from ours.

“Today is my favorite day” Winnie the Pooh

*Tuesday I witnessed a great act of courage…I was heading towards the interstate from Main Street when I stopped for a red light near Lowes..a car in the left turn lane was smoking badly…it appeared as if the smoke was coming from a tire or under a certain part of the car.

The traffic was bumper to bumper and the smoke was getting heavier…when suddenly a young man (two cars up in my lane) jumped out of his car and raced over with some kind of paper cup/ drink in his hand with ice in it and began throwing it on the tire. He then ran around to other cars begging for any kind of liquid/ice…I grabbed my water and handed him…as well as several other drivers.

After a few minutes a policeman appeared and started re-directing traffic around the vehicle…but I witnessed a true hero in “live footage.”

A shout-out and “kudos” to this unknown hero!

*I don’t know how many of you were caught in the early morning traffic jam (in the rainy weather) yesterday on Lincolnville Road, then Ladson, then Highway 78 and then both interstates. It took me an hour and a half to get to John and Mandy’s…the rest of the day was a breeze but “Rainy Day Wednesdays sure can get you down.”

When the sun came out later, in the afternoon,  Eva Cate took advantage of it by swimming some and modeling her new sun dress and bathing suit I bought for their Disney trip coming up in a few weeks. Another wonderful day!

* Shout Out and Happy Birthday to Ya Libby…who was sick and missed her Ya birthday at the beach but is going out today with Jackson and her sister, Linda…and hopefully her daughter Betsy for her official birthday which was the the third of June…yesterday.

We love ya Libby! Happy Happy Birthday!

Dear Reader:

It all began with a bench…the place where my fearlessness finally manifested itself.

It was my birthday of 2012… the Ya’s surprised me with a beautiful wooden bench for the then non-existent garden…the vague dream that both excited and terrified me simultaneously.

For a year the bench sat on the (now) B&B side taunting me…”Where is the garden I am supposed to sit in”…it seemed to mock me each time I ventured over…

My problem? I am a visual learner and I couldn’t “see” the garden…I knew what I wanted… a whimsical garden filled with imagination, as well as, tradition, a garden for both adults and grandchildren …but how to mix the two…how to start?

I gave myself until my next birthday to start…and it was looming closer and closer. Then a series of happenstances occurred to afford me the opportunity to gather my courage and take a giant step in faith.

A beautiful and completely unexpected gift arrived from my beloved Poppy which allowed me to build the deck in August of 2013. Once again I knew what the final version of the deck should look like (in my mind) but not exactly how to explain it to a builder. Kirk Stewart came through for me….with friends to help me make my vision a reality.

Then one day…just a few days before my birthday rolled around in 2013…Anne showed up to see the deck…and said “It’s time…no more excuses…and gave me a little stone from Mepkin Abbey It said simply BEGIN!  Just begin! Do something! BEGIN!

The next day she arrived with orange tape and said that beginnings always start with a path...and that would be the beginning of the garden. She was right!

The beginning of the garden began with four stepping stones (Mandy had made me for Christmas that year) orange tape, and Anne. A few days later Doodle arrived and we discussed plants and flowers to place beside the path. A quick trip to Hollow Tree Nursery, many donations from family/friends and one month later….the vision was already taking shape.

Shortly thereafter…John Lee built the moon gate for the garden, and my neighbor Julie, gave me two picket fences she didn’t want from her garage. …The garden continued taking shape.

By the next spring…I had saved (also with gift cards from the family) & purchased the fountain… with the bench that started it all sitting right beside it…so I could hear the gurgle of new life and hope continuing to grow each season.

I decided this saying would be appropriate in the garden because it had been my secret fear…that I wouldn’t live long enough to see my garden. At the time I started…things weren’t going well…at all. “Little c” was not staying “little.”

The last few months before retiring I had images of me working in a garden…which was pretty ridiculous at the time since I had never gardened and was completely clueless about things like potting soil, fertilizer, plants in general, when to plant, how to plant, etc.

The vision, however, stuck with me and when I finally emerged from behind my self-inflicted prison bars of fearfulness…I discovered a whole new world. It was the same with the creation of the blog…and now I see that the two were supposed to come together…and they have.

The wonderful world I live in today is one of fearlessness…it consists of writing, gardening, storytelling…and babysitting. It is the world I always dreamed about but feared would be cut short by “little c”….however God and His instruments of medicine (my wonderful doctors) have decided to let me enjoy this slice of heaven (for however long) while still on earth. I am eternally and humbly grateful.

When dreams come true:

Margaret Wheatly (“Love is the Source of Fearlessness”- Awakin Weekly) wrote recently along this same lesson on courage that I have learned since my retirement. (Here is an excerpt)

Some of the prison bars that we have constructed for ourselves are our fear of losing our jobs. Our fear of not being liked. Our need for approval. Our desire to make important changes but not have to risk anything at all. So, we still want the comfort of this life and it feels like a bigger risk to step out and say, “No,” or to say, “You can’t do that to me.”

“It feels like a larger risk, because I think the real prison we’re in is our affluence, and our focus on our affluence around material goods. I offer you this to think about: what is it that keeps you from acting fearlessly? […]”

“…What if we could offer our work as a gift so lightly, and with so much love, that that’s really the source of fearlessness? We don’t need it to be accepted in any one way. We don’t need it to create any certain outcome. We don’t need it to be any one thing.”

“It is in the way we offer it, that the work transforms us. It is in the way we offer our work as a gift to those we love, to those we care about, to the issues we care about. It is in the way we offer the work that we find fearlessness. Beyond hope and fear, I think, is the possibility of love.”

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So until tomorrow…Father…give us the courage to begin…to simply begin. Begin a new life… a new relationship with You, a new job, a new way of evaluating happiness and giving back…a new way of finding the peace we seek each day.

“Today is my favorite day”  Winnie the Pooh

Dear Reader:

Doesn’t it seem like sometimes we get ourselves so caught up in life, in general, that when “God looks into our minds, He sees only thoughts spinning round and round…going nowhere, accomplishing nothing.” “His peace hovers over us…looking for a place to land.” (Jesus Calling Devotional)

Now that I have gotten my garden pretty well established…you would think I would start dividing the time between working in it and enjoying it. But I get so caught up in a project that I, sometimes, forget why it was created to start with…to have a sanctuary…a place of peace and silence to talk to God.

In other words…a place and time for God to be able to stop hovering and land His Presence beside me on a continuous time-line. ..to keep my “Open” sign blinking 24-7.

Like an old mother hen…I hover over each new plant and bud waiting to bloom…to make sure it is okay….off and going!

The one bud I am hovering over most closely is the first moon flower bud…I am beyond excited! I will remember that the first bloom arrived in early June…a kick-off for summer. (You will see it as soon as I do)

A few weeks ago…when Libby stayed at the B&B for us to go to Jackson’s niece’s wedding…she reminded me of a story about a trip to Holland that she had just come across again in some reading.

I remembered it too…a powerful lesson in life…human expectations and God’s expectations. Originally I think it was intended for parents of special needs children…but as time passes the anecdote can be applied to any situation in life where we expected one thing to happen but something else came along to replace it.

Most of us have lived long enough to know that our first choices in life rarely pan out….we don’t get in the first college of our choice, or get the first job we so wanted, or get published when we thought, or get the house of our choice. Such is life.

And there is a reason for the initial heartaches of disappointment…we are supposed to go down a different path…God is gently nudging us in another direction.

When we get together …(the Ya’s)…We reminisce over our past dot-to-dot life stages….if this had not happened at a certain time…then this other event wouldn’t have happened and the domino effect would have given us a completely different life…living in different regions with different friends/spouses with different life styles.

Instead God simply asks us to stop the spinning in our minds and let Him fill us with  His Presence and Peace …to let Him quit hovering and land beside us to reassure us that the path we are on…is His path of choice…not necessarily ours…but the right one.

” A Trip to Holland”

 Emily Perl Kingsley

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability – to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel.  It’s like this……

When you’re going to have a baby, it’s like planning a fabulous vacation trip – to Italy.  You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum.  The Michelangelo David.  The gondolas in Venice.  You may learn some handy phrases in Italian.  It’s all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives.  You pack your bags and off you go.  Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, “Welcome to Holland.”

“Holland?” you say. “What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy!  I’m supposed to be in Italy.  All my life I’ve dreamed of going to Italy.”

But there’s been a change in the flight plan.  They’ve landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven’t taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease.  It’s just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language.  And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It’s just a different place.  It’s slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy.  But after you’ve been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around…. and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills….and Holland has tulips.  Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy… and they’re all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there.  And for the rest of your life, you will say “Yes, that’s where I was supposed to go. That’s what I had planned.”

The loss of our dreams is a painful thing…but as time goes by the pain lessens and our new world becomes a new home. 

So remember… if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn’t get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things … about Holland.
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So until tomorrow…Let us stop spinning our thoughts around in our minds like a washing machine…but instead turn them off and Let God in. He just might need to tell us about a new itinerary.

“Today is my favorite day”  Winnie the Pooh

* I kept Eva Cate yesterday since her school only offers Tuesday and Thursday summer attendance days in June. We had a ball…it was girl’s morning…I brushed her hair 100 times since this was how one could tell who was a princess…royalty. Then we put on make-up, got a new “do” and painted fingernails.

She also had a very popular tea party with all her stuffed animals invited.

When Jakie got home…we had some good cuddle time!

 Eva Cate got her baby doll and

fed her while I fed Jakie….

I stayed long enough to see Eva Cate swim the length of the pool by herself with no floaties. Last year she took swimming lessons and didn’t seem to make much progress…she actually appeared to have regressed from when she was younger.

Now less than a month in the family pool…she has turned into a mermaid…unbelievable….swimming underwater…retrieving objects from the bottom of the pool…amazing…and swimming the length of the pool by herself.

She did it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

* While I was playing with Eva Cate…the number of “hits” since last November when we started Chapel of Hope Stories Part II ( Part I ending with 300, 000 hits over six years) turned to 20, 000 over six months. Thanks to all of you who remained loyal throughout the November change. I appreciate it more than you will ever know…we now have 600 subscribers!

* Lachlan ‘s garden tree is now official…his butterfly personalized stepping stone arrived while I was gone yesterday…now all the “grandchildren” trees have a lantern and personalized stepping stone…project complete!

Dear Reader:

It is June 1…our official southern ‘first day of summer’ for children…with school out! (Or close)

It is a great benchmark date to create in ourselves a “new heart for life.” I wish I had thought up that phrase but it actually came from our prayer of confession yesterday during church service.

“Create in us a new heart for life and for serving you. Make each moment and each day an opportunity that glorifies you.”

The three individualized art segments in the title photo originate from a bracelet I bought at Kelly Roberts’s studio…our “possibilitarian” gal. I just took a picture of one side of the bracelet.

The three sayings seemed to relate to the message of the blog today… with our first of the month clean slate:

1) What if you let love heal your heart?

2) Become a possibilitarian!

3) You can rest in the truth that you are enough!

I reluctantly finished my first summer novel last evening. It felt like I was losing some friends in the process. Good books do that to us. There was just enough mystery and intrigue to keep the reader wondering how the author would knot the last piece of the tapestry together.

It also contained hilarious southern expressions and “truths” as Loralee (a most endearing character guaranteed to stay with you after the story ends) observed them during the novel.

I promise I am not being a book spoiler by sharing three of my favorite Loralee “truths“… because the novel is jam packed with them…some funny, some poignant, and some “downright” thought-provoking.

It is, however, a good day to share lessons about life as we all start a new seasonal chapter in our own unique story.

Before I list my three thought-provoking messages from the (Loralee) in the novel…I had to laugh at one bit of “fluff” in her “truths” to pass down.

“Never give a lady a tube of lipstick without a mirror.”

Actually I had a compact mirror that mother had put in my little “prom” purse for the Junior-Senior Prom when I was a junior…but I thought I could put on the lipstick without it.

My date had just gotten his drivers license but unfortunately didn’t know how to drive a manual/stick shift vehicle… (a car which belonged to his older brother.)

We jumped, hopped, and rolled back down inclines (with red lights at the top of the hill.) I just prayed we got to the prom before all my teeth fell out.

And speaking of teeth…as we got closer…I opened my prom purse and grabbed my new tube of lipstick. I began putting it on when the car stalled and then hopped again. I had lipstick, not only across my teeth, but also my face. I looked like some kind of female teenage “Joker.” Truly scary…not the look I had been going for… (Both my date and I decided to pass on the prom photos.)

All the water (in the girl’s bathroom beside the gym) in the world and starchy paper towels didn’t help…it only smeared the problem ( remember we just had those old oily lipsticks back then)…so I looked like I had a major sunburn the whole evening…I literally glowed…but not in the way I imagined…so good advice about the lipstick/mirror combo… Loralee.

Before each of these sayings…Loralee starts out…”Like my mama used to say”…

1) “When you lose something or someone from your life…it just means that you’re making room, in your heart, for something new.”

(I am sure by now everyone (reading the blog) has lost something or someone close to their heart…and I do love the idea of making room for  new “possibilities” to enter.)

2) ” Everybody dies…but not everybody lives.”

(How true…and to me that is the saddest eulogy of all…that the person died without ever living…let’s not let that be our eulogy…Today is a new day…We have a brand new summer season starting… So…let’s go play, pray, and sway…to the music!)

3)  “Turn the page…and stop re-reading the one you’re on.”

( We do have to let the past go…like a wounded dog…we can’t keep licking our wounds…not only do they not heal…they often worsen .. when they would have healed if left alone or turned over to Someone Who could help in the healing.)

So until tomorrow…Help us father leave our wounds for You to heal, live each day as if it is our last, and make room in our hearts for love to enter our lives.

“Today is my favorite day”  Winnie the Pooh

* Don’t forget to say “Rabbit” to bring you good luck this month…it is the first day of June and summer…Let’s all have a fantastic one!

* Anne, her sister, Lucy, and her husband, Dave, came by to see the garden yesterday afternoon and the sisters were ready for a garden showing… They arrived with their garden attire….hats!

…A little  “Boo” in a jar for garden lovers…a way to share my sanctuary.

Dave, Lucy, Anne, and I had some key lime pie before touring the garden…we needed the “strength” of course!

Before leaving… all three wonderful guests figured out (how to put together) the latest solar Chinese lanterns…. I can hardly wait for the lights to come on tonight. (A couple of the ones I had ordered previously…were “duds”…after a lot of effort and buying new batteries they just never made a connection and lit up at night.) Thank you Anne, Dave, and Lucy!!!!!!!!!!!!!

* These lanterns all worked…I put them all on Eva Cate’s tree to soak up the sun and then last night all four trees (for the first time) were shining brightly under the almost full moon! Just beautiful!

So now all the grandchildren’s trees will continue growing, blooming and lighting up my life!

* Please keep Ambika  (our “darling from Dubai”) in your prayers…she is only about two weeks away from her due date…this will be her (and her husband) first child, so of course, they are a little anxious, as well as, excited. I made her promise to let us know and send lots of baby pictures when the happy event goes down. I didn’t ask if she knew the gender…figured this close…we would just let it be a surprise for all of us!

Dear Reader:

I came across this little cartoon picture in a magazine I was reading before getting my bone density test done Friday and initially it just made me smile.

Friday night…later, as I was drifting off to sleep, I thought about the message again and started giving it more consideration.

When I think back to the days of teaching when the children were still all at home…it truly is a blur. I remember that the greatest gift of all came from friends and family when they would take the children to come play. They gave me time…to be alone. I physically and emotionally craved it at certain intervals.

And I was so lucky to have the Dingle family helping me out by having the kids over to their different homes for different occasions! Bless your hearts!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I remember telling another teacher one afternoon that teaching was the easiest part of the job…my day really didn’t start until after school…dropping the kids off at different baseball fields or football fields, as well as, picking up and dropping off Mandy for dance and later volleyball and all other kinds of activities she was engrossed in ….while at middle school and high school.

Thank goodness all my children were sleepers like me and when we came across a “Sacred Saturday” as I called them with no practices or games or places we had to be…it was the closest thing to heaven I got.

We would all sleep in and then I would run pick up biscuits or burgers (if we slept past breakfast) and watch cartoons with the kids…putting off the weekly cleaning chores until afternoon.

Oddly enough these are some of my fondest memories…doing nothing with the kids on a Saturday morning. Simplify!

These days I never hit the “snooze” button on life because I don’t want to waste a minute of it. I am so excited about going to the garden to check and see what new bloom is going to surprise me. Or taking a walk around the neighborhood to see, hear, and listen to nature at its best. Or meet friends for breakfast or lunch. Life is too short to “snooze”past it.

Welcome the garden’s latest addition…butterflies love these plants…Stokesia or (as Doodle told me…thanks again master gardener) Stoke’s aster. I want to see lots and lots of butterflies in the garden!

Friday I showed you a picture of the morning glory vines growing along the side fence….yesterday morning I woke up to the same scene…but…now covered with purple morning glory blooms...it was if the flowers rested during the night and pop, pop, pop they, too were ready for a new day… blooming in all their glory!

This photo was taken Saturday morning while watering all the plants…these are my day lilies lined up along the side of the house. They are between blooms…buds but no blooms. I have, no doubt within the next two days they will all be blooming again…so much to look forward to in life!

I had to take my potted plant off the hanging green chair because the morning glory vines have just about reached it and soon will cover the chair with purple and periwinkle blooms…it will be so beautiful.

Simplify the walls…how easy it is to simplify our wall hangings/ artwork when you are blessed to be surrounded by family/friend artists. (Mandy, Joan, and Anne) Why ever buy another painting ?

Nothing any store or art gallery had in it… could come close to what I feel when I can picture the artists who created these objects of great beauty.

I am happy to see that it isn’t just me who wants to simplify my life so I can enjoy it to the fullest each day. There are whole movements of people wishing to do this. For example:

On P. Allen Smith’s Saturday morning show on PBS…he had an Italian guest who was explaining the Slow Food movement that has spread to over 150 countries. The idea behind the movement is to grow and live off the crops that are seasonal throughout the year…. eating nothing synthetic to prolong growing periods but learning how to be creative within nature’s natural time-table of growth.

Slow Food, a nonprofit organization dedicated to protecting food enjoyment, biodiversity and sustainability, was founded in Piedmont, Italy in 1989. Carlo Petrini, an editor, writer and intellectual, took action in response to the first McDonald’s restaurant opening in Rome. The grassroots association has since blossomed into a global movement that spans 150 countries and counts 100,000 members.

Simplifying our meals is just one way to slow down our lives while eating healthier. I haven’t gotten brave enough to seriously contemplate adding a vegetable garden yet…the flower garden consumes a large chunk of time…especially in the spring and summer seasons.

But maybe….just maybe…one year I will bravely add vegetables to it.

I even simplified my car by putting the name sticker decal Sis Kinney sent me awhile back on my car…I cut off the Boone, NC part of the decal and only left “Boo.” So from now on…if you see a “Boo” in front of you…wave and beep!

As Mollie’s maternity leave is quickly winding down…she decided to spend it with Rutledge in a giraffe pool in the front yard…life when lived simply…is at its best…and remembered the longest.