Chapel of Hope Stories

Dear Reader:

I fear the expression “I wonder,” spoken in a thoughtful, pensive way, will soon become obsolete in today’s world. Instead of taking time to ‘wander often and wonder always’ we simply google the information we are looking for and unfortunately, take it as the correct response to our questioning…which is quite “iffy” under the best of conditions.

Quinn Caldwell, in his devotion “Two Senses” reiterates this line of musing with this observation:

“There’s not a lot of room left in the world for wondering these days.  When was the last time you said, “I wonder what . . .”  or “I wonder how . . .” or “I wonder who . . .” and didn’t just head straight for Wikipedia?  When was the last time you pondered a question about the world for a while instead of just pulling your phone out of your pocket and looking it up?  I can’t tell you the last time I really wondered instead of just Googling.”

It is probably only around Christmas time with the Christmas Story, being re-read from Luke, that we stop and wonder about that magical birth and the shining star leading the Wise Men to the Christ-Child. This sense of wonder will always envelope me, even now as an adult, the same way it first did when I heard the story as a child. Wow! The best story ever!

Of all the beautiful Christmas music that is available to be heard throughout the season…the one that touches me and still fills me with a sense of longing is the old Appalachian tune…“I Wonder as I Wander.”

A Kentucky balladeer, John Jacob Niles, composed the beautiful Appalachian song, deliberately keeping the lyrics simple because he never was able to hear the young girl who sang the first three lines ever sing more than that …. Niles recalls the incident:

“I Wonder As I Wander” grew out of three lines of music sung for me by a girl who called herself Annie Morgan. The place was Murphy, North Carolina,and the time was July, 1933. The Morgan family, revivalists all, were about to be ejected by the police, after having camped in the town square for some little time, coking, washing, hanging their wash from the Confederate monument and generally conducting themselves in such a way as to be classed a public nuisance.

Preacher Morgan and his wife pleaded poverty; they had to hold one more meeting in order to buy enough gas to get out of town. It was then that Annie Morgan came out–a tousled, unwashed blond, and very lovely. She sang the first three lines of the verse of “I Wonder As I Wander”.

She never could come up with more than that so Niles gave the family some money to help them get gas and food and kept humming the haunting melody with the five words “I wonder as I wander” over and over again until he completed the melody and added some simple verses to accompany it.

He believed the beauty in the song was the gift of wonder, itself, as the listener began to imagine long walks in beautiful woods, while pondering the world God gave us, including His most special gift, His Son Jesus.

Niles had no idea that this song would become one of the most beloved carols and sung throughout the world with its simply melody and wonder.

I wonder as I wander -Rutter, Cambridge Singers – YouTube

I think we should all find time, in our daily life, to wonder and wander. I remember grandmother used to take my hand and we would sometimes walk down the little dirt road that lead to Uncle Herschel’s county store and get a coke or a Nehi orange drink (with a bag of peanuts) that we would promptly drop in the soda.

Life was never so good as at that moment.

Even with my father’s death and mother’s left hand amputation our talks were about wildflowers (that grew in the pastures with all kinds of beautiful and funny names.) Grandmother was probably my first real geography teacher (she had been a teacher in Due West) since she entertained me with the funny names of towns in South Carolina as I slurped peanuts from my soda.

Little did I know when she told me the history of a town named Due West (Grandmother’s birthplace) that I would actually go there to college-Erskine College…and believe me, I knew the history well before arriving.

…But there were other funny town names she taught me back then like Ketchuptown, SC which made me snicker and wonder if everyone had a ketchup bottle hanging from their mailbox. Grandmother told me about Coosawatchie, South Carolina which really made me giggle…(and lose some of my peanuts) because, with my baby teeth in the midst of falling out…I couldn’t pronounce it (for all the gaps) and we both ended up chuckling together.

These “wonder” moments are some of my most precious moments with my grandmother. There is a lot to be said about the importance of  ‘wondering’ alone and together.

These days, however, if I start to get ahead of myself, wondering about health problems and where they might lead in the future…I put a brake on these types of wonderings. These are the kinds of wonder best left up to the only Person Who has the map from start to finish of our own, unique passage.

I just hope, that along my travels, I continue to wonder at the mysteries around me and most importantly, laugh at the funny places I pass during my life.

So until tomorrow let us never lose our sense of childish wonder…it is one of the most beautiful gifts God bestowed on us.

“Today is my favorite day”  Winnie the Pooh

*With February being Black History Month…I thought you might be interested in this obscure connection between Queen Victoria and Harriett Tubman. Queen Victoria invited Tubman to her Diamond Jubilee in 1897 but Tubman could not attend due to financial and health restraints.

So, later, Queen Victoria sent her a silk, linen shawl as a gift of appreciation for all she did to eradicate human bondage. Don’t you love it? If you are like me and watching the PBS Victoria mini-series you have become as fascinated as I have with Queen Victoria. Today the shawl can be found in the Smithsonian National Museum of African American History and Culture. It was given to the Museum by her grand-niece along with 39 other artifacts.

White, square-shaped shawl made of silk lace and linen.

So next time you are in our nation’s capital…wander on over to the museum and wonder about this amazing American heroine!

Dear Reader:

How many of you remember promising not to do this or that with your “bestest”  friend, as a child, linking pinky finger to finger. Most of the time this promise or swear involved not telling anyone else the secret you were just told or there would be dire consequences. The ritual was also performed to check to see if the other person was lying or telling the truth.

In our country the most commonly used “oath” for never revealing another friend’s secret was/is: “Cross my heart and hope to die, stick a needle in my eye.” (Looking back on the ritual as an adult… the pinky swear seems quite dramatic now…but then in a child’s world…promises were to be taken quite seriously.) Perhaps in our adult world…it might be time to bring back the pinkie promise or swear…it would be  refreshing to know a truth from a lie!

Actually pinkie promising or swearing is universal…children (and adults) from all over the world have been found to participate in this “sacred” oath among friends, a gesture to convince them that they are telling the truth and not lying. For example:

Japanese schoolchildren use the following “oath”:Yubikiri genman, uso tsuitara hari senbon nomasu, yubi kitta which colloquially means: “Pinky promise pledge: If you’re lying, I’ll make you drink a thousand needles. Pinky promised!”  (What is it with children and needles???)

Like Debbie Macomber came up with a “perfect word” idea for each year to help us work on certain areas in our lives we wish to improve upon and learn more about…Kate Wolfe-Jenson has come up with twelve “Kind Promises” for us to make for ourselves to live by throughout each year.

Jenson’s whole philosophy, since being diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, has been to use this chronic and degenerative illness as an opportunity to transform creativity and apply it to the ever-changing challenges of the disease.

With the help of mentors she has learned that self-compassion is a necessary and  important “kind promise” she must make to herself…it is all right to grieve the loss of physical agility…but only to a point and then the rest of the time should be spent re-inventing daily rituals, using creativity, to find ways to compensate for the physical losses.

12 Kind Promises

*After “pinky” promises and swears…I saw some of the most beautiful pink I have ever seen from nature:

*As I was heading out a little after five o’clock yesterday afternoon the setting sun’s rays had fallen on Vickie’s Japanese Tulip in her backyard….I caught the top of it, visual from its height standing over the roof, and marveled in its beauty!

*Then another neighbor, Jane, gave me a Frances B. camellia, so named for Frances Blanton Muckenfuss by her father who loved camellias and creating hybrids. It is gigantic…Jane was afraid the freeze last night would hurt it. My Happy Room just got happier with this beautiful camellia in it.

 *And I can’t sign off without mentioning the beautiful full moon last night in all its glory…it was something to behold!

Dear Reader:

Don’t we all remember as children, squabbling with our siblings, cousins, or friends about everything and nothing? In a child’s world, mostly dominated by adults, getting the last word in during an argument brought a certain amount of esteem from our peers.

But as we got older, most of us figured out that trying to get in the last word was just a nonsensical way to never settle an argument. “Yes, you did!” “No I didn’t!” “Did to!” “Did not!”  Unfortunately a certain percent of people can never give up that last little ounce of power…even as adults…or, for that point, even as…dead!

*Do you know someone who always has to have the last word in a conversation or an argument? Everyone has come across this type of person and knows how frustrating or plain sad it is when you see it.

In mythology the “You did it”…”No you did it” famous couple (who are given credit for trying to win the battle of the last word) were Narcissus and Echo.

*Greek Methodology explains this well. Echo, a mountain nymph, had to have the last word in everything, and it was her undoing. While Echo was beautiful with a musical voice, and people enjoyed hearing her talk, this eventually went to her head. Echo took so much pleasure in having the last word in both arguments and normal conversations, that eventually it became her undoing. As the story goes, she fell in love with Narcissus, and he rejected her. (After all, being narcissistic he put himself first.) In return she begged him not to let her go. Narcissus broke her heart  and Echo wasted away and was doomed to a very sad life.

*Article: Founder and Managing Director of Marketing Eye/Mellissah Smith

Think about personalities you know that have to have the last word. With social media today…we see them even more. When we hear people arguing, whether in the work place or simply out and about…we can’t help but think there is still a very insecure little child inside…who can’t let an argument go without getting in the last word. It is definitely a power struggle.

We, poor mere mortals, keep trying to hang on to whatever power we can seize to make us feel in control of any and all situations in life…wherein the reality is simply that God is in control and we are here to share the love and use whatever power we have at our disposal to benefit others.

Think about it…John 1:1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. Most theologians today consider Christ the Word…’when the word became flesh.’

So then if we look to Jesus for his last words as an example for our own last words…. We find…After announcing “It is finished” Christ proclaim to the world “Father, into your hands I commit my spirit”.  

Earlier we were talking about the power of hands and holding hands…and these are the last words on the cross Jesus spoke before his death. “Father, into your hands, I commit my spirit.”

“I told you so” last word comments make us feel better in the heat of an argument…but in reality it  just makes us look pretty petty and childish in our approach to differing opinions.

As citizens of the world we need to concentrate on doing what is morally accepting towards all our fellow men…treating them as we would like to be treated. No last words…no power struggle… no “told you so” just words of kindness as we live our daily lives. It is up to all of us to demonstrate what Christ’s life was all about…loving all God’s children.

So until tomorrow…If we can finish our race in life committing our spirit, whole-heartedly to God, then we, not only finished our race…we won!

“Today is my favorite day”  Winnie the Pooh

I kept the Dingle boys yesterday afternoon/evening and neither tried to one-up the other one with the last word. Well…I reckon Rutledge couldn’t get in the last word except to let me know he couldn’t breathe. Lachlan wanted to sit in his lap while we watched Toy Story!

It was so good to see those little grandsons again…between their schedules and mine and new medicines…January came and went with no lovin’! But Rutledge was happy to see Boo Boo at his and Lachlan’s brand new pre-school –Primrose- the Roost– just beautiful!

Uncle Tommy stopped by with the little dogs, Atticus and Pip with their flashing red light collars and the boys loved on them until the dogs were looking for shelter.

It is hard to believe my youngest grandson, Lachlan, will be two years old next month on St. Patrick’s Day. Because Rutledge calls Lachlan by his nickname Lache (sounds like Lock-kee) Rutledge’s teacher thinks his name is Lucky. In a way I think she is right…he is “Lucky Lache.”  Rutledge’s new play ground looks like a firetruck…he thinks he has died and gone to heaven…one happy boy.

Dear Reader:

These past few mornings it has been easy to be in love with my life. The weather is gorgeous, the first signs of spring are peeking out, all is right with the world.

My neighbor, Vickie, got a text from her brother telling her how much snow they recently had (he lives in Michigan) and she said she couldn’t help herself…she sent this picture back saying that it was just a typical “Charleston Cold” winter here too!

Even the tea olives bushes that I planted a couple of years ago are tall enough now to bloom and they smell so good if you are sitting on the deck. That had been my motive for planting them…I wanted all the senses to be awakened in the garden…not just one visual one. After four years my garden is starting to leave a lasting impression on all the senses.

Leaving a lasting impression….mother was very big on that. If she told me once, she told me a million times that we only have one chance at a first impression, so make it a good one. Her advice never wavered: “Stand with your back straight, look the person straight in the eyes, speak confidently loud enough to be heard but don’t yell, and always have a firm handshake.”

I must admit it was good advice and came in especially well with interviews…I got more positions that I applied for than I didn’t and I have to thank mother for that.

My favorite “making a quickly needed lasting impression” is found in the romantic comedy, Jerry McGuire, when Tom Cruise is desperately trying to win Rene Zeillwigger back. While giving it his best shot, she stops him in mid-apology with the famous words… “You had me at Hello.” (9 second clip) Now that kind of charisma impression is impressive!

You Had Me at Hello – Jerry Maguire – YouTube

Quinn Caldwell/Steven Lighty had an interesting take on a ‘lasting impression’ in a written devotion …particularly in its history.

“Leaving an Impression”

Once upon a time, sovereigns and nobles would wear signet rings on their little fingers.  The rings themselves were symbols of power and identity, as were the impressions they made.  After writing a letter or document, the noble would drip hot wax on the closed document and then press the signet into it.  The impression left behind in the wax proved that the document really was from the one whom it claimed to be from: “The King was here.”

In our participation in the life and death and resurrection of Jesus through worship and service and learning, we too are being molded to fit God’s hand.  We too are wrapping ourselves around God’s little finger.  We too are becoming signs through which God tells the world, “I am here.”

I think holding hands with someone is one of the most intimate, caring gestures in human society. Wasn’t it wonderful of God to create our hands with individual fingers that fit perfectly with another person’s hand? The thought and details that went into the creation of ourselves and our world continue to be completely mind-boggling to me.

And since the night of May 27, 2008 -the night God extended His Hand to me…I have never been without a hand to hold…I am molded to God’s Hand and it fits ‘like a glove.’

So until tomorrow… like the beautiful hymn, “Spirit of the Living God” reads: Spirit of the living God,
Fall afresh on me.
Melt me, mold me, fill me, use me.
Spirit of the living God,
Fall afresh on me.

SPIRIT OF THE LIVING GOD.flv – YouTube

“Today is my favorite day”  Winnie the Pooh

*Linda Carson, my former oncology nurse, chose the “perfect word” SMILE for her 2017 word. She has learned, from former patients, how important a smile is/was in their lives as they went through chemo treatments to fight cancer. Yesterday she wrote and updated me on two more incidents (God Winks) that have re-enforced her decision to choose the word SMILE.

...”The day you talked about pictures of our word, I had two for you, but they were so small, you really couldn’t see them.  But first, I addressed a card to a friend I hadn’t heard from for a while and when I went to seal the envelop, on the back of it was printed smile!  Like its a brand of note card and I didn’t even know. 

Then on Ladson going to work was our famous dump truck, Keep on Smilin‘!  It was another day of some frustrations, but because of both of those winks, I kept smiling and remained calm seeing what God was doing in the situation.  Although, not always obvious, I know He is always with me and present. What a comfort!”

Dear Reader:

As the temperatures started their warming trend yesterday I found myself opening all the windows letting the fresh air back into the house after a weekend of cozy fires that I love but, admittedly, it does leave the house smelling a little “ashy.”

It feels so good just to be alive today. Don’t you love days like this…when you are happy just to “be?” No check-list or goals or anything pre-planned…just a day to enjoy being alive. As I walked around my garden watching life resurrect itself from hibernation and turn towards the sun…I felt the sacred nature of life and it was breath-taking. The saying on the left sums up my thoughts at this moment: “Just to be is a blessing. Just to live is holy.”

Can you feel the crispy warm fresh air pouring into the house? I did and felt so energized!

The word origin for the term  home derives from the Old Norse (Scandinavians…my people…making up 22% of me) root word heimr which meant the world as one’s residence. (For the Vikings home was located in different parts of the world…each time they conquered it!)

Interesting I thought. It is true….just like our pastor Jeff Kackley said about the church being the people….so is a home. It, too, is not a building…it is where our loved ones live and/or lived.

I remember learning that lesson when both mother and Poppy/Dee-Dee changed residences after years of living in one home. Mother came to live with us after a terrible episode of the flu that almost took her away from us, and Dee Dee and Poppy decided to give up on the increasingly challenging upkeep of their beautiful old home on Gum Street and move over to Richardson into a rental they owned.

When we found the duplex in Miler Country Club we were glad…now mother could have her own side and privacy while still being close enough to us to help her manage life a little easier.

I must, secretly, admit that, at first, I wasn’t ‘crazy thrilled’ about giving up our home in Briarwood to move back into a duplex. After all, I grew up in a duplex in Fayetteville until I was fourteen and appreciated living in a single home.

But soon, the other side just became Me-mommy’s Place….her own space…it just happened to be conveniently close to us. The children were able to grow up with two homes side by side.  What a gift…”Me-mommy’s” home was a place they could retreat to for a little extra loving when needed.

Poppy and Dee-Dee told us, one day, they were going to move into their rental home. Fix it up and make it their retirement home. I remember having very mixed feelings about the move….I loved their beautiful home on Gum Street…it held so many memories…especially at the holidays. I was afraid that everything would be different.

But like the change with mother’s living accommodations, everything continued as normal…holidays and birthdays were still celebrated there, along with the Dingle Easter Egg Hunt. I realized it wasn’t the structure of the house that mattered or where it was located….HOME was where the people we love lived. My Scandinavian ancestors were right: Home is the WORLD to us because the people we love most in the world live there.

We need to make sure our homes are happy ones…because it is so important for the children growing up there to have fond memories of good times and good connections to the past. With that kind of anchor in our past we, too, can go see the world, but still feel the happiness of returning back home…to our residence on Earth.

So until tomorrow…Take a few moments to walk around your home and find the things that make you happy… that  make this house  your home. Then give them all a hug!

“Today is my favorite day”  Winnie the Pooh

*I thought about you today, Anne, when I saw the latest Subaru Barkeley dog family commercial. It just makes you smile….beats out most of the Super Bowl commercials. I just love these Barkeley dog family commercials. Click on and see if you don’t agree…just one minute of time.

Subaru Dog Tested | Subaru Commercial | Puppy (Extended) – YouTube

*It did make me stop and think that this would be an excellent service job…not just for puppies but humans. If you have a crying baby or puppy…One can call the service…they come and pick up whichever and drive around all night so the owner can sleep! 🙂

*Tommy called me Saturday evening. He was searching for the commemorative coke cans with the Clemson National Football Championship  insignia on the side. Apparently they were going faster than eating potato chips. His internet search led him to the Sphinx gas station on Old Orangeburg Road…he asked if I would check and see if they had any…and if so, could I pick some up?

It was about 8:00 Saturday evening….I called and the manager said they had 3 cases left….a case holding four six-packs. He told me that if I wanted to get one or more I had better come on then. He had just about sold out from what he had been allotted.

So I threw on a heavy jacket and raced over there….I got one case but in trying to get it in the car the box slipped and some of the cokes hit the pavement making indentures on the top tabs. The manager was so sweet…He helped me get them up and separate the good from the bad and gave me a deal on a second case…which he carried to the car.

Since I have several individual coke cans now I thought I would take some to my Clemson neighbors as a memento for them. Tommy is going to take some and do the same for his friends and leave some for interested family. Thanks Coca-Cola for the nice memento of this happy occasion!

Dear Reader:

As I continue my learning voyage into my 2017 perfect word “listen”…I realize that one of the most important and endearing gestures we can give each other …is the gift of simply leaning in and listening. 

Think back on your own childhood and adolescence…wasn’t your favorite person in the family or circle of close peers or adult friends… the one who listened, intently, to you and gave you the feeling that he/she really cared about your thoughts and dreams, to the exclusion of everything else going around?

It might have been a parent, sibling, cousin, teacher, coach, or friend…but you knew that person was really listening because they leaned into you, stared you straight back in the eye, and then took time to digest your words, thoughts,  problems, or dreams before responding.

My favorite aunts and uncles were the ones who treated (or pretended to anyway) me like an adult, an equal, no matter what my chronological age at the time…nothing was too trivial, silly, or unimportant to them. They listened as if I were discussing brain surgery instead of, perhaps, hurt feelings from an acquaintance who might have made fun of me.

Leaning in is the forerunner or conclusion to letting others lean on us when difficult times arrive.

A year ago Christmas when Brooke and I went to visit her son, Henry, in NYC we went to see the NYC Rockettes for a Christmas performance . One of the most popular, highlighted acts (that everyone waits for) is the march where dancers, dressed up like wooden soldiers,  slowly fall backwards…each one leaning on the one behind her until the whole line is on the floor in perfect precision…like decked cards.

In a perfect world we would all have someone to ‘cover our backs’… to have someone to lean on at just the precise moment we need them. And we do …God.

This would be the same person who would also lean in to listen to our troubles and quietly reassure us that we will find the right path again…we just need to be quiet and listen for directions.

As a teacher I could always tell when I had my students’ listening attention (to the story I was telling) when I saw them shove everything off their desk, prop their elbows on the desk with their hands cupped under their chins…leaning in towards me. “Gotcha” I thought to myself…it is going to be a good day!

In the children’s sermon yesterday….the favorite listening game (sometimes called “gossip”) where a message is repeated from child to child until the last child repeats what he/she heard…was played. It never turns out to be the same message, or original thought, of course, that started with the first child. The idea behind this game is to re-enforce how difficult it is to get everyone on the same line of communication…particularly if we aren’t listening.

Our pastor, Jeff Kackley, talked to the congregation yesterday about the “growing pains” we are experiencing, one of which is communication, as the church grows. He reiterated several times that we must remember the building we worship in is simply an architectural  edifice…we, the people, are the church. 

This remark set my connective neurons a’buzzing. By the time I got home I knew what and where it was …the connection I was looking for. I found it in Archibald Rutledge (SC Poet Laureate) most popular book...Home by the River.

After Archibald Rutledge retired and returned home to Hampton Plantation many of his black childhood companions, he grew up with, hunting and fishing, were now sharecropping the land around the plantation. They were there now to help Rutledge try to restore as much of the plantation as possible.

Rutledge, wrote in a later book, God’s Children, that these friends taught him more about pure faith and what true religion looks and sounds like than anyone else he ever met.

Being driven to accomplish as much as possible in the time he had left restoring Hampton, Rutledge sometimes got irritated with his friends for what he saw as dawdling or simply not finishing projects. Once, again, it was one of his old friends who showed him the simple truth.

For years there was a little church in the woods outside Hampton where the ex-slaves and now sharecroppers worshiped. For as long as Rutledge could remember the church had always been a work in progress. Finally it was almost complete…the only thing left to build was the top spire to finish the church. Months, then years went by and no spire.

Finally in exasperation, Rutledge decided to have a talk with Anthony Lee, the patriarch of the plantation congregation. It went like this:

“One day I was lamenting to old Anthony Lee, the patriarch of the plantation flock, the fact that his people had never finished the spire on their little church after all this time.

“Ah, Cap’n,” he said penetrantly, unmoved by my concern, “here is the true temple.” He pointed to his heart.

Rutledge remembered that conversation for years…the beauty of simple faith…the true faith…the true temple.

So until tomorrow…Let us all lean in and listen to our Creator…He has the best stories around.

“Today is my favorite day”  Winnie the Pooh

* I really am so happy that my last “child” is getting married. Didn’t you dread those years when the children were out of college and mostly by themselves…still hadn’t found their “one” so every time you texted your child and didn’t get a response (listening intently for the “ping”) or had a late night call I got the mother nightmare flashbacks… what terrible thing had happened….did your imagination go there…mine did! 🙂

Dear Reader:

My mother was very organized…looking back on my childhood, I realize now she had to be in order to keep our family life intact, since she was mothering alone,with only one hand. Outwardly or subtly we learn life through our parent (s) don’t we? And I learned that settling for anything less than my best was unacceptable.

On the surface this sounds like good advice, setting a good example, but carried too far it creates perfectionism and perfectionism, unfortunately, creates inner stress and outward judgment. A stressful sense of perfectionism took awhile to develop in me. I didn’t even recognize it as such at the time.

As a timid child growing up…I realize, now, how family and friends of mother’s all helped raise us. We, constantly, heard from everyone, including Dora, our maid, that we better behave and not cause mother any added stress to her life…or as Dora put it, “Don’t you be doing nuttin’ foolish, ya hear, to upset your poor mama!”

Apparently there was an unspoken code among family and close friends to keep anything negative from mother as much as they could…including our occasional bouts of misbehavior…the kind that simply goes along with being a kid.

** As I was looking for the little photo, above, to show how timid I was when I was around 4 and 5 (around the time daddy died) I immediately thought about the miniature statue Honey sent me with the little girl with her fingers in her mouth…I sent the two (bottom) pictures to Honey and she told me how she walked by the little statue two or three times in this store in Saluda before getting it….she just seemed drawn to it and now she knows why…it was me.

Later in life, I always thought I was pretty carefree, easy-going, even ‘chillin’ cool for years, but underneath I have always been an introverted extrovert who demands a lot of herself. As social a creature as I am… there is also the same little timid girl in me that once existed who prefers playing alone, moodling, and having time each day for herself and her private thoughts.

These days I dislike any kind of meetings or deadlines (too many years of teacher meeting overload I believe) and I avoid them at all cost. I like being spontaneous and simply enjoying the moment without having to plan far ahead or worry about details. I tell people if they need something from me…please ask and if at all possible I will do it at a certain time for a certain length of time and then I am finished with it…no more long-term projects.

I have changed a lot since retiring and personally, I think, for the better. All the pressure to do what I was asked to do at the highest level I could do it…took a toll over years…particularly with my health. Ironically, it has been since my health problems appeared, that I have found the most joy in the simplest things in life, while re-discovering and re-introducing me to myself. God is the Master of Irony. We have to lose ourselves to find ourselves.

How many of you remember the old adage: “A Kiss and a Promise”…I had forgotten that old saying but a good one it is. Kate Wolf-Jensen, in a recent blog on ImPERfeCTioNiSm, remembered the best advice probably ever given her (on finding a balance in life between giving one’s best and over-perfectionism) that came from this quote out of her grandmother’s mouth.

A kiss and a promise

It’s easy to suggest letting go of attachment to productivity and harder to do it. “I’ll give it a kiss and a promise,” my grandmother would say when time or energy prevented her from cleaning things to her satisfaction. (Perfectionism is both inherited and learned, I fear.) Though I knew her only by hearsay, Grandma gave me a helpful tool for releasing compulsion. Sometimes, my promise can be to return to finish the job. Other times my promise might be say to the project and myself “you are enough!”

I am at the “perfect” place in my life now for writing this blog. Each blog requires just the immediate thoughts running through my mind on any particular day with little long-term conditions attached. (unless I am away several days on vacation)

“Little c” has made me brave and no longer scared of my own self-imposed perfectionist tendencies. And, along, with this transition of learning to accept and love myself as a person, my tendency to judge others by my own criteria has diminished. I now see the vast majority of people in my life as simply a child of God who, like me, are just trying to cope with life by re-discovering that we don’t have to prove ourselves worthy of love and belonging. We have and have always had that from our Creator. He loves us just the way we are.

Whew! Trying to live up to our own highest standards can be exhausting. But these days acceptance of life and love the way it is has proven to be the healthiest medicine in my life.

So until tomorrow… a “lick and a promise” or a “kiss and a promise” is the best way to take stress out of our lives…after all, think about it… God doesn’t rush around to get everything done…He performs miracles and answers to prayers in His own Good Time/God time… with a “kiss and a promise.”

“Today is my favorite day”  Winnie the Pooh

* Our first ‘perfect word’ memento participant….Carolyn Sweat sent me a message yesterday morning that simply said: “Finished!” And it was! (Carolyn and I share the same perfect word for 2017…so it is only fitting that our candles share the same light!) Great Job Carolyn!

When I finished typing the blog yesterday, around noon, I went to locate that little childhood photo of me in today’s blog. I figured it was probably in one of several scrapbooks and I groaned inwardly… the scrapbook bookshelf was a wreck!

I have been going through the scrapbooks to find photos to use at the wedding reception and by Christmas the book shelf was crammed with more “stuff” than you could shake a stick at… and the whole corner of the “Happy Room” needed cleaning and clearing out badly.

I had just about finished cleaning that dirty corner by the side of the fireplace when I walked by the refrigerator, and there on the side, was the picture on a magnet staring back at me I had been looking for all morning.

I had to laugh but at least it had gotten me to clean out that yucky corner I had put off for too, too long. (Forgot to take a before photo…but my rocking chair had been wedged in that corner, too, to make room for the Christmas tree…It was a crowded mess…here are the final visual results….including hauling the rocking chair back to its rightful corner on the other side of the den.) Whew!

*Look what Anne got from our eternal symbol  of giving “Santa Claus” Honey Burrell for Nala.

Anne emailed me the photo and this expression of gratitude ” Look what Honey made for Nala! I was astounded by her LOVING gesture- how sweet was that?”

Dear Reader:

 
In Debbie Macomber’s book: One Perfect Word she takes time, at the end of every few chapters, to share ideas on fun suggestions and/or ways to remind ourselves, on a daily basis, the importance of the “perfect word” we have chosen for this year. She calls these short paragraph tips…WordPlay.

The beautifully decorated plaque in the title photo (from Etsy) is an example of one “Wordplay”  suggestion to remember our chosen word(*I love the gem beading)….and simply by putting it in a place we see each day, we have a reminder of the change we want to make in our lives. It can be quite simple…just a small plank board or piece of wood with painted letters of our 2017 perfect word.

Here is a list of some of her WORDPLAY ideas…perhaps one or more of these might be something you are interested in pursuing. If you create a WORDPLAY please take a picture or share the activity you did (in order to remind yourself of your chosen word) with the rest of us. Would love to share your ideas.

The mail arrived yesterday afternoon before I started today’s blog. I had just completed the book “One Perfect Word” and had already decided to share the WORDPLAY ideas from the book when I opened a package from Honey and there was a miniature sculpture she had gotten for me. As you can see below it is a little girl holding two fingers to her lips as if silencing herself to be silent and listen. My God Wink for sure!

1. Take a small notebook and keep a record of the number of times you hear your ‘perfect word’ in a day or week or whatever chosen allotted time you wish. You can even count the number of times you see the word in written print within a certain time period.

2. Paint or even have a large stone cut with your word on or in it…could use a smaller one as a paperweight or larger stone as a doorstop. If you stub your toe on the doorstop, you can remember your word while hopping up and down…in between the four-letter ones you are thinking of…:)

3. If you are a tactile learner…why not find a symbol of your word and carry it with you like a good luck charm or a worry stone.

The famous author, Lewis Carroll, author of Alice in Wonderland, would note a particularly memorable day in his journal as a “White Stone Day.” Then he would take a smooth, white stone and add it to the stones in a very large clear jar. It was said at the of his life he stared at the considerable pile of stones in his jar and realized how blessed he had been.

4.  Charms on a charm bracelet with all the “perfect words” engraved that you choose each year really come into full meaning after many years of this practice… and remembered each time you look at your charm bracelet.

http://www.bonboncharms. com

5. How about garden stepping stones created with each ‘perfect word’ …adding a new stepping stone each year. http://www.etchedcreations.biz

6. The sense of smell is one of our most important sensory outlets to the past. Select a favorite candle scent and then have the perfect word painted or stenciled on the candle so every time you light it and smell the wonderful aroma it reminds you of your word.

*I thought of this idea…I got my favorite glass candle…put a black sticker label around it, writing LISTEN in chalk….it doesn’t cost any money and it does the same thing…as I smell the aroma of this lemon-scented candle I calm down and turn on some music and just listen.

7. Give the Christmas gift of a personalized Christmas tree ball ornament with a friend’s perfect word painted/stenciled on it…the perfect gift for your friends and yourself.

8. Make a collage cover of the perfect words you love and then re-cover an old book cover…replacing the pages with blank ones…then put all your perfect words in it…along with re-telling  the year of the perfect word and the reason behind the selection.

So until tomorrow…when you concentrate on your chosen word it suddenly seems that the perfect word keeps popping out everywhere….When I found this wooden saying on the internet I knew that one day it will be in my garden. It touched me so.

“Today is my favorite day”  Winnie the Pooh.

Dear Reader:

I bought a lot of Christmas bubble night lights for the grandchildren and friends this holiday because these night lights hold so many fond memories for me from my childhood.

* This bubble nightlight is plugged into the socket by the mirror in my dining room….I love watching the bubbles flow while I eat meals.

My first remembrance of bubble lights was watching them bubble on the Christmas tree and thinking that was the most exciting thing I had ever seen as a child. It made the tree come alive for the first time!

Bubble lights first arrived on the scene in time for the Christmas season of 1946. The inventor had samples ready earlier but couldn’t mass produce them until after the war…because the chemical liquids inside were strictly rationed until  World War II was over.

To the inventor it was a special way to celebrate the first Christmas- with fathers, sons, uncles, (etc.) – home with their families. It was an instant success!

It wasn’t until later in the fifties that the turn socket night lights evolved. I remember mother bought one for our two bedrooms. I had a single bed in mother’s and my shared bedroom, while my brothers shared another bedroom.

We fell asleep each night with that wonderful bubble light bubbling away. *I would sneak out of my little single bed and sit on the floor beside it mesmerized by the sense of peace it brought me…actually lulling me to sleep. Mother would find me some mornings sleeping on the floor. Oh, how I loved that bubble light.

She let them stay on until they usually gave out around summertime and didn’t bubble any more. We were heart-broken but she promised that Santa would bring us one again that next Christmas if we were all good. (Tall order!)

I remember hearing a quote that said “One simply can’t be unhappy while blowing bubbles.” There is definitely a lot of truth to that…even if we don’t blow bubbles, but simply watch them in aquariums or bubbly fountains…even the bubbles that sometime washe up on shore. The pool is our favorite place for blowing bubbles.

*And like Anne added, bubbles from a champagne bottle and glass aren’t bad either!

***Also bubbles are popular at weddings too!

One therapeutic article on the act of blowing bubbles said that many adults admit thinking of the bubbles they are blowing as worries and it is a nice feeling to watch their anxieties pop or simply disappear.

In another article, titled “Bubbles” Annette Walwyn Michael, used this word of scripture as an analogy between bubbles and our lives.

“Whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away.”

James 4:14

(Excerpts from article) The Apostle James used vapor or bubbles as metaphor for how quickly our lives pass. God sees our life spans as bubbles that are here for only a few fleeting moments.

“Our beautiful homes, gardens, clothes, shoes, careers, quarrels and misunderstandings, our ambitions are all in the light of eternity…just bubbles. Yet don’t we try so hard to keep our bubbles from popping around us?”

“We work night and day to beautify our little bubbles, install security systems to protect our bubbles from thieves, we have cleaning services keep our bubbles gleaming and spotless (I wish!)

“Then we fill our bubbles with many expensive vaporous spheres. There they float in God’s sight, like vapor, that appears for only a short time and then vanishes.”

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The last article does remind us of the fragility of life doesn’t it? The most important decisions we make daily should not be as much about this life as the next one…doing what needs to be done…and prepare. One great suggestion comes from Mister Rogers, himself.

*Speaking of preparing…what a difference a day makes! I woke up yesterday…got all my tax information organized and typed up, called my tax service and got a 2:30 appointment! I am done, finished, BIG CHECK by that “to do” item!

I texted Anne and told her I needed to celebrate…she came over and we ate burgers and fries…glorious way to commemorate a ‘done deed’!!! (For another year!)

We were laughing about yesterday being both Groundhog Day and National Tater Tot Day (we substituted fries)  Growing up Catholic Anne added two more commemorations from her childhood memories.

February 2: Feast of the Presentation: Candlemas

Every year Christians celebrate the Feast of the Presentation, also called Candlemas. This day honors Mary and Joseph presenting the Christ child at the Temple, 40 days after his birth.

Today-February 3: Blessing of the Throats

Anne remembers the students would be marched out of school and walked over to the Catholic church for this ceremony.

Details regarding the miraculous healing of the boy vary. One account relates that the miracle occurred during the journey to take Blaise to prison when he placed his hand on the boy’s head and prayed; another that the miracle happened while Blaise was in prison when he picked up two candles provided to him and formed a cross around the boy’s throat.

The use of candles for the blessing of throats stems from the candles that Blaise used while in prison. When an old woman’s pig had been miraculously rescued from a wolf by Saint Blaise, she would visit him in prison, bringing him food and candles to bring him light in his dark cell.

Anne admits being a little frightened of the strange candles so close to one’s neck… she was scared it might catch her hair on fire…forget sore throats!

So until tomorrow…Let us remember that the ‘gentle stream’ still moves rapidly among the rocks and currents and soon life is still “but a dream.” So let’s make it a good one!

“Today is my favorite day”  Winnie the Pooh

Dear Reader:

One of my “old” blog posts written in ChapelofHopeStories (Part 1 2010-2014) popped up as I was looking for an old photo of someone from 2013. As I was idly going through old posts…suddenly one post on “moodling” jumped out….and I realized…that was what my problem was lately…I needed more “moodle” time.

Tommy and Kaitlyn are planning most of their own wedding (and keeping it quite small) to save money for a honeymoon trip to Ireland, including Dingle, Ireland, of course. When Kaitlyn sends me itineraries and photos of different places they want to see while there…memories of the 2014 trip Anne and I took to Ireland… have started coming back to me with such fond and funny recollections. *(The lounge overlooks Dingle Bay)

*Kaitlyn found this lovely B&B in Dingle where she and Tommy will stay …It comes with three pet ‘live-in residents’…Mollie the cat  (as seen in the photo) then there is Rio the dog, and the Three Sisters (three hens)…Irish hospitality at its best!

They are going in May and I told Kaitlyn that this would probably be a good month since Anne and I discovered June is hay-bailing season for the Irish. So, in addition to, the typical sheep and cattle crossings…in June you find yourself behind many trucks filled with hay….precariously close to falling off the back or sides…and the truck, itself, precariously close to taking up both lanes of traffic!

All this ‘happy idling’ of thoughts (moodling) came back to me when I pulled out all my tax information to start getting the information organized last evening. I found myself, instead, sweeping my den, putting clothes and dishes in washing machines, and dish washers, watering plants, changing sheets….any chore seemed preferable to tax preparation.

*Joan…I also pulled out my adult coloring book you gave me with those gorgeous pen painted markers….so soothing on the nerves!

On the bright side, however…the thought of tax preparation brought back to mind the word “moodling” and I was so happy because I love using fun, interesting words. (and because I remembered the word from 2014…quite an achievement!)

Here is an excerpt I found on the word (moodling) that I found quite relate-able.

…“Moodling, which I learned from Brenda Ueland’s marvelous book, “If You Want to Write*,” is a precious gift we have sacrificed in the name of accomplishment. Children know how to moodle; they are natural virtuosos at it.

You never see a child look up from his blocks to say, “Man, I really should work on my taxes soon.” You never see a young child stop to question the motivation of a game or joke.Children, precious moodlers that they are, have enormous powers of concentration.

They take their world very seriously, playing school with more truth and conviction than a doctoral candidate. All of us were once moodlers, whether we admit it or not. But the art of moodling is drummed out of us pretty quickly.

An adult will tell us, “Stop all that silly daydreaming. Why don’t you go out and do something worthwhile?” The teachers will tell us, “Don’t waste your time with such nonsense. The world is not a game.” Being adaptive creatures, we learn to stop our moodling in order to be accepted, taken seriously. We put away our imaginary friends. We close the coloring book. We become…grownups.

And in that transition from Divine Foolishness to Productive Adulthood, we lose something profound. We lose the opportunity to see a castle in a pile of backyard twigs. We relinquish our birthright to play, to fun and laughter. In essence, we become ponderous automatons, more concerned with making a living than with living itself.

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So tomorrow I am going to compromise…finish getting my tax information organized and ready for my tax preparer, call and make the appointment like a “real” adult…Afterwards I will go celebrate by getting a large ice cream cone and then start cleaning out the wheelbarrow to make room for 2017’s spring fairy garden land. Ah…a wonderful moodling day!

So until tomorrow…Take time to moodle and doodle and let your imagination take you away from adult concerns…in other words…Let’s go play today!

“Today is my favorite day”  Winnie the Pooh

*Joan said she was in a reflective (“moodling”) mood last evening remembering their first family vacation trip with ‘little’ John and Michele…and now they are watching John and Mandy take Eva Cate and Jakie on family trips…a lot of nostalgia and (as I told Joan) history repeating itself with the similarities.

John and Michele                                  Jakie and Eva Cate

*Speaking of John and Jake….Today is National Tater Tot Day and both those boys LOVE their Tater Tots…You must take Jake out and get some today in celebration, John!

Today is, also of course, Groundhog Day, but regardless of what Phil says…Boo predicts the “elevator” weather for eight weeks and then an unseasonable warmer spring and hot summer! Just saying…How about ‘dem apples Phil. Let’s see who’s right! The challenge is on!