Chapel of Hope Stories

Dear Reader:

Making sense of life…now that’s a tall order isn’t it? I believe that is what I am most interested in discovering in our next world. I can hardly wait to show God my list of unexplained sorrows and heartaches and ask (like Lachlan and Jakie now do) “But why (God)…but why?“

Why would my father be taken away at the age of 31 leaving behind a young wife and three small children, why would my mother then lose her left hand to bone cancer, and  why would my younger brother die from a relatively rare genetic disorder just weeks before his college graduation? “But why…it just doesn’t make sense?”

These are the questions that aren’t answered in the world we live in…and spending our lives searching for these answers end in futility and  loss of purpose for our own lives.

Making sense of life…aren’t we mere mortals restricted in this quest by the world we are born into and live in until returning home?

Anne and I are switching Louise Penny detective books faster than we can find or order the next book. The author, Louise Penny, speaking through her likable and wise fictious Chief Inspector Armande Gamache, spouts more words of wisdom than I can hardly take in with just one reading.

It is what draws me back to the next book in the sequence…over and over. (My books are starting to look like my old history notebooks after taking notes for a solid hour in each history class. I used to underline words and sentences to go back and study again.)

Case in point: Excerpt from the second book:

One of the Chief Inspector’s young detectives in training (agent) is confused by a murder that just took place in the little town of Three Pines. It was a strange, bizarre death that required a lot of pre-planning. He complains to Gamache that it ‘didn’t make sense’ – why go to all that trouble when the person could have just shot her?

The wise Chief Inspector replies while staring down at the young agent seriously.

” You need to know this. Lesson number one.  Everything makes sense. Everything! We just don’t know how yet? You have to see through the murderer’s eyes. That’s the trick…you need to know that it seemed like a good idea, a reasonable action, to the person who did it. Believe me, not a single murderer ever thought: “Wow, this is stupid, but I’m going to do it anyway.” No..our job is to find the sense.” 

“How?“…asked the young agent.

“We listen” replied the Chief Inspector.

………………………………….

Ah…listen…my chosen word for 2017. What an important word it is. LISTEN. How much we can learn from the cessation of speaking and the influx of listening?

Once I have stopped with all the questioning about the incidents from my childhood that seemed so senseless at the time and even now…I have gradually found an acceptance of what happened with a promise that one day, in another time and place, God will explain the whole story to me…and it will finally make sense. Gamache is right…everything makes sense when seen through the right lenses.

But unlike Chief Inspector Gamache… it is not my role to try to find the sense in it now, while living on Earth,  (outside of it being a catalyst to the person I am becoming, with all these seemingly tragic events comprising the person God is guiding.)

I am not alone with my questioning, my “But why’s.” After all we all have our crosses to bear and I know, deep down, there is a reason for everything that happens in our lives. I, also know, that if we become too bogged down in the past…we will never live the fulfilled life God has given us to live in the present, in the moment.

So until tomorrow…Life does make sense…to God…and thank goodness for that. There is Someone who does knows the answers; we just have to keep the faith that they will be revealed to us when God is ready to do so. God’s time; not ours. And I hope then…I can smile and say!  “Oh, wow!” “How could I have been so blind to what was right in front of me…I see the answer so clearly now.”

“Today is my favorite day”  Winnie the Pooh

Dear Reader:

One of my favorite authors, Madeleine L’Engle, kept a forty-day journal about learning to listen to God in prayer and then had it published. At the end of the fortieth day, she wrote a thought-provoking piece of prose entitled simply “Word.”

I read, re-read Madeleine’s last entry…her conclusion to her forty-day journey with God in prayer…her epiphany was that words break down when trying to communicate with God…only silence and adoration remain.

So many times I find myself thinking that I don’t need to try to over-talk or out-talk God because He already knows what my mind and heart know and feel…words are unnecessary in spiritual communication. Thoughts become words in prayer. The key to contemplative prayer is listening and watching for God’s response.

And that’s where the God Winks enter my world. It never fails that whatever was left unanswered in prayer will show up in God’s Time…and in His creative way…the God Winks we receive continuously from Him.

Haven’t we all heard the expression….”It was so quiet you could hear a pin drop” and in most of these scenarios…it is perhaps a piece of music that sends us soaring in exhilaration or a piece of poetry, pottery, painting or another form of art…dance, movement, song or reading? The experience provided that moment when our “words did end” and we were “wordless”  in an aura of awe and glory.

For one precious moment (before a standing ovation and/or thunderous applause fills a room)…”All language does turn to silence and that silence is joy, is adoration.” 

Remember this sage school quote: “A wise old owl  sat in an oak…the more he saw, the less he spoke, the less he spoke, the more he heard…shouldn’t we all be like that wise old bird”?

My epiphany of late is that I find God in spots of beauty…anything that makes me stop, pause, and ponder the miracle of God’s world. Simple scenes, in my home,  like these:

Yellow roses, fresh red tomatoes, and a turn-paging summer mystery read.

Beauty, taste of summer, and reading delight…three of my favorite things that ended up together on a little round kitchen table… all provide a moment of gratitude to God for all He provides.

A new houseplant that makes me smile with the diversity of the color green amid beautiful textures as morning creeps through the blinds..

Early morning light , yellow flowers and blue/green designs of beauty-all say “Thank you.”

“And the Word became flesh and lived among us, and we have seen his glory, the glory of a father’s only son, full of grace and truth” John 1:14.

Think about it…the “Word” (being a metaphor for Jesus) is perfect because Jesus was filled with glory, grace, and truth that he has shared with all of us for eternal life. No “Word” tops that.

Except on a lighter note…I remember Walsh relishing one slang expression that popped up in his teen to  young adult years….“Word Up”  which basically meant saying “hello.” Every time I was with him and he saw a friend he knew…out popped “Word Up Man” and sometimes just simply “Word.” This expression was always followed by a “fist bump.”

Most of the time it was just a ‘cool’ hello greeting…though it could be used to indicate agreement with another’s comment…. as “Let’s go to the Riverdogs game tonight“….”Word” (okay.)

So until tomorrow…Since God has been around since man first made audible sounds into words and then words into sentences and finally complete thoughts…a greeting “Word Up God” (Hello God) probably works as well as any greeting in any language. God knows us through and though and needs not words to know our every need.

“Today is my favorite day”  Winnie the Pooh

*Oh goodness! Something quite miraculous took place late yesterday afternoon …in between thunder storms. My third moon flower began opening right before my very eyes as I was ending this post.

*I was initially a little sad to notice one spent moon flower that had opened Monday night while I was away. I drove to Mt. Pleasant so I could go with Mollie to her 18 weeks ultra-sound at MUSC yesterday morning. (Walsh was in Ohio!) Baby girl Dingle is doing a great job and got all A’s on her “report card” for forming all body parts perfectly/ everything right on schedule! Yeah! Go little Eloise!!!

 Look how beautiful moon flower #3 is!

*And speaking of beautifully awe-inspiring… look what I got in the mail from Anne…an original watercolor postcard that will serve as a special memento for the August 21 total eclipse of the moon! How exciting is this!

*On the back of the card is this line of scripture: “The heavens declare the glory of God…” Psalm 19:1

Anne put the heat-sensitive historical postage stamp on…so I am covered from top to bottom and side to side and eye to eye! Thank you so much Anne! What a wonderful surprise to get in the mail yesterday!

Today, Wednesday August 9…I would truly appreciate you offering up prayers to Patty Knight’s (my fellow social studies teaching buddy) daughter, Kristen Gault, who starts chemo today for breast cancer. She is like her mother, small but mighty, especially in her faith, so I know she is up to the challenge…but I, also have experienced the power of prayer…and it is dauntingly dominant against “little c”…so let’s get Kristen off on a good start today!

Dear Reader:

I do believe that music is one of the greatest gifts God added to His universe. It is hard for me to imagine a world without sound…but even harder for me to imagine it without song.

I think music must be one of those ‘life extra’s’ Archibald Rutledge talks about in his book by the same name.

This is a sweet little book of reveries on the blessings that lie in the little unnecessary things of life. Creation supplies us with just two kinds of things: necessities and extras.

Music might be an “extra blessing” but it is hard for me to imagine a world without music. To wake up in the morning without the sounds of birds singing is unimaginable to me. To never hear the “Hallelujah Chorus” again at Christmas strikes fear and sadness in my heart.

A thought has run through my mind, on numerous occasions, that it must be harder for musicians (I think of all the great composers from past to present) to leave this world for another…to leave a world of constant music and creations of new music behind…to have everything in this world come to a halt filled with silence.

So I have to believe that our eternal home will be filled with music so extraordinaire that we are never without it.

Quinn Caldwell, spiritual author and minister, observed these fascinating facts about nature’s connection to music…similarities and differences.

“Sing” (Quinn Caldwell)

“…with gratitude in your hearts sing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs to God.” – Colossians 3:12-17

There are about 5,400 animal species that make complex, intentional, repeatable, musical vocalizations.  That is, there are about 5,400 species that sing.  The majority live in the trees, a few live in the oceans, a very few live underground, but there is one—only one—singing species that lives on the ground: us.

Another thing: humans are the only singing species with a precise and shared sense of rhythm, which is what allows us to sing together.  Two birds might sing the same song, but they cannot sing it together.

Another thing: if a roomful of people sings at the same time, they start to breathe at the same time as well.  Some studies suggest that if the drumbeat or bass line is strong enough, their hearts will begin to beat together, too.  And if we’re singing together and breathing together and our hearts are beating together, then it’s like we’re one body.  And you know Whose body it is.

Another thing: all the other species stop singing when danger approaches.  But humans sing louder the closer the danger gets. We sing together, and we become large, and we do not back down.

So come racism, and “We Shall Overcome” you.

Come fear, for “It is Well With My Soul.”

Come war, for tonight is your “Silent Night.”

Come death, for “Jesus Christ is Risen Today.”

Come, all ye faithful, and sing.

……………………………….

So until tomorrow…If… “Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily….life is but a dream”…I want mine in the form of a musical…rowing down the stream of life.

“Today is my favorite day”  Winnie the Pooh

Exerpt from the book: “The Band that Played On: The Extraordinary Story of the Eight Musicians Who Went Down with the Titantic” (Thomas Nelson/2011)

…”I believe the band took the courageous decision to play because of the moral character of their leader, the violinist Wallace Hartley. This musician, who’d previously played on both the Mauretania and the Lusitania, was from the small town of Colne in Lancashire, England, and was raised in the Methodist church. His father was the choirmaster there and responsible for introducing the hymn ‘Nearer, My God, to Thee’ to the congregation.

By all accounts Hartley was a highly principled person and a devout Christian. He’d recently been engaged to a young Christian girl, Maria Robinson, and they planned to marry after he’d completed a few trips on the Titanic. He was personable, cheerful and would always attend church when he was back on land.

There are two interesting comments that he made to colleagues that shed some light on why he behaved as he did. The first was mentioned by a musician on the Celtic called John Carr who had worked with Hartley. I don’t suppose he (Hartley) waited to be sent for, but after finding how dangerous the situation was he probably called his men together and began playing,” said Carr. “ I know he often said that music was a bigger weapon for stopping disorder than anything on earth. He knew the value of the weapon he had, and I think he proved his point.”

The second was said to Ellwand Moody, a musician on the Mauretania, who had served under Hartley. He told a British newspaper; “I remember one day I asked him what he would do if he were ever on a sinking ship and he replied ‘I don’t think I would do better than play ‘Oh God Our Help in Ages Past’ or ‘Nearer, My God, to Thee’.”

So it appears almost certain that Wallace Hartley had contemplated being on a sinking ship and had already decided how he would respond. He believed that music could prevent panic and create calm. He had also chosen his final piece of music.

I didn’t discover any stories from the lives of these musicians that led me to think that they were born with the gene of courage. As with most people who perform heroic acts I suspect they didn’t know what they were made of until the moment came when they had to reveal it. But I also think that without the moral and spiritual caliber of Wallace Hartley, the man to whom they looked for musical guidance, they may not have discovered their inner resources.”

Dear Reader:

It was while watching Rutledge try to pat Dakota, the sweet lab that lives next door to me through the fence, that some memory set my neurons tingling. Wasn’t there a story about a man and a dog separated by a barrier that had a great metaphor for life and death in it?

I started just putting words at random on google search and the story popped up titled “The Other Side of the Door.” Bingo, I found it. I have always thought this small anecdote was the perfect metaphor for the age-old question of the mysteries surrounding the after-life.

“The Other Side of the Door”

There was an old country doctor who would take his dog along with him when visiting patients. The dog would remain outside while the doctor went in for the house call.

On one occasion, the physician went to the home of a man with a terminal disease who didn’t seem to have much time to live. The man confessed to the doctor his fears about death and said, “What’s it like when you die?”

The doctor thought for a moment, then got up and opened the front door. His loyal canine friend, who had been waiting patiently on the porch, gleefully bounded in to join his master.

The doctor turned to the dying man and said, “Do you see this dog? He didn’t have any idea what was on this side of that door. All he knew was that his master was there, and he wanted to be with him.”

“That’s how I feel about death,” the physician continued. “I don’t really know all the whats and hows about dying. I’m not totally sure What’s on the other side of that door. But I know Who is there, and that’s enough for me. I’m looking forward to being with my Master.”

………………………………

I will never profess to know the answers to what happens in the after-life but I do know Who is waiting for me, too. I do know that I will leave this world to be with God and that’s enough for me.

Walsh and Mollie and the boys stopped by yesterday…we fixed hamburgers and played….trying to let Dad get few winks in since he had just come off a twelve-hour shift. Mollie and I took the boys out for ice cream…returning with a milkshake for dad.

Waking Dad up with a milkshake!

This week Walsh leaves for Ohio for a customer service meeting with some other administrators from work. Then Mollie and the boys fly out Wednesday for a two-week stay at home with her parents, Marcia and Bruce in New Hampshire. By the time everyone returns it should be just about time to move into their new home….time is flying right now. * A little music….loud music!

Rutledge was my helper in the garden….helping me water the plants and check out his Japanese Maple tree….both he and the tree are growing!

John, Mandy, and the children got back from their Disney vacation last evening…the last vacation to end the summer. Everyone had a great time….but are dreading getting back in the old school/work routine again. It has been a nice summer to relax. *Jakie fell asleep on the boat bringing them back from the Magic Kingdom one afternoon…exactly what you want to happen…he was still holding on to his favorite blanket…”Night Night.”

Beautiful Nala played with me yesterday when I dropped another book off for Anne (we are in the Louise Penny mysteries and loving them…swapping off books.) Nala even walked me to the door and saw me out and stayed there until the car disappeared from sight…love Nala.

* With all the thunder storms we have had recently… the “Dog Days” of late summer should be re-named “The Frog Days” of summer. I never can quite figure out where those big old bullfrogs are but I can sure hear them bellowing away each night after a rain shower.

So until tomorrow…Father reassure all of us that You are waiting on us to arrive one day and we will sense You before we see You.

“Today is my favorite day” Winnie the Pooh

I was very late watering last night…first time I have had to do it in several days with all the thunder storms…so the moon was rising as I was putting the hose back up and all the garden lights were popping on….including the water can lights. Such a magical, mystical, mysterious moon-filled night! Beautiful!

Dear Reader:

I have read several of Marianne Williamson’s book or excerpts from them and they never cease to give me an “Aha” moment. When I came across this quote I thought to myself it was just what my brother, Ben, and I had talked about on the phone Friday.

It started with a text from my cousin, Marcia. We grew up together for part of my childhood in North Carolina and shared experiences of life together from those young ages. She texted to let me know that her mother had died. Myrtle was in her late nineties…and had been out of touch with reality for quite a long time. She was in a full-time care facility but Marcia was over there constantly checking on her and talking to her.

I called Marcia back and we started reminiscing about the days our families spent together and sharing some laughs.. It felt good to talk to her again. I told her I would let Ben know and pass the information on to others.

Soon Ben and I were caught up in some of  those same memories Marcia and I had just shared. Since Ben was older at the time of daddy’s death and has more memories of mother and daddy together than David or I ever did …he now talked about how different our lives would have been if daddy hadn’t died so early and we had grown up with more financial advantages like our cousins had.

After conversing on the “what if’s” in life… if tragedy hadn’t struck so early…I told Ben that this was true…but then we wouldn’t be the people we are today if our paths had gone in a different direction.

It was the hardships that we went through that began molding us into the final sculpture of our being. I told him that the only part I wish I could change was the Vietnam War and its long-lasting impact on him.

Ben agreed but then re-countered that as difficult as that time in his life was and the aftermath leading to his life-long struggle with depression…he is who he is. It was his on-going battle with depression himself, that made him a good counselor to parents and children with special needs….an area he excelled in all his life. He understood the parents’ anger and frustration over a child who struggled to fit into a school system geared more for normalcy than special requirements.

Like Williamson’s quote conveys: Ben’s life experiences geared him up to write his memoirs of his Vietnam experiences and his life in the after-math…a book which is helping hundreds of others.

Ben has started sending his book to other veterans, fellow combat veterans in the Veterans counseling classes he attends regularly in Myrtle Beach. To date he has, also, heard back from former President George Bush, officers and men from his unit in Vietnam…and even some well-known military names from that period of history.

He said that these days just going to the mailbox is exciting because he never knows who he will hear from…all thanking him for his candor and hope in his re-telling of his personal experiences. Ben has “burst forth with his greatness that could not have been achieved “without going through exactly the things he has gone through.”

I felt like I finally “came of age” when I visited St. Jude’s Chapel of Hope for the first time with Honey in July of 2010. Today it is my constant wellspring of love and hope…the impetus that lead me to the blog. For this…I will always be eternally grateful. My blog has given me a special  purpose in life.

THE PATH OF BEFRIENDING OUR EXPERIENCE REQUIRES GREAT GENTLENESS AND PATIENCE. –Tara Brach

So until tomorrow…Let us not dwell in the past…lamenting over what might have been and blaming fate for our trials and tribulations but see them for what they are… spiritual stepping stones to greatness.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” (Marianne Williamson)

“Today is my favorite day”  Winnie the Pooh

Dear Reader:

I couldn’t help but drop back and punt on a true historical story documented behind the names of this plant… more commonly known as The Devil’s Trumpet...the trumpet because of the shape of its blooms.

When Stephanie shared one of these beautiful plants with me from the Farmer’s Market a few weeks ago…she told me the name and said it would be interesting to see how the name originated…especially since there is a plant called ‘The Angel’s Trumpet.”

I really didn’t think much about it at the time….I just loved the night blooms on it…reminded me of my moon flowers but enhanced with the purple rim beauty encircling the bloom.

A few days later, however, Doodle was the first person to warn me about this plant and probably how it got its name…it contains extremely toxic agents within the whole plant (from the roots to the stems, to the leaves) and can cause severe skin reactions, and if ingested sickness and death to animals and humans alike.

• I read that farmers take great care to rid fields of this plant where their animals graze. (Doodle figured that might have something to do with the name…as in the sense that evil can lure us with its own unique beauty but be deadly at the same time.)

Doodle said she has one such plant but keeps it far away from the ‘mainstream’ of her other plants in her garden/yard and said that this might be a good idea for me too.

I definitely know that before the grandchildren come to play on the deck, again, that I need to move it to a remote area of the back yard …back where the woods begin perhaps. And I need to keep it in its container since it is quite aggressive and will take over a wide area if left to itself… another article cited.

Then yesterday one of our readers wondered if there was another name for this plant that could be substituted for The Devil’s Trumpet. I thought it would be interesting to find out and lo and behold a history lesson popped right up…and I certainly can’t pass on that opportunity!

The other names for this plant are the Jimsonweed and the Jamestown weed.  (Jimson…of course being the nickname for James.) *The son of a James back then was named Jim.

It was actually the historical settlement of Jamestown, Virginia  that provides the backdrop for a documented, strange occurrence that took place there in conjunction with this alluring but poisonous plant.

I googled and asked about the origin of the plant name – the ‘Jamestown Weed.‘ The first article only mentioned one short idea on the origin.

“This plant contains toxic tropane alkaloids, which have caused poisoning and death in humans and other animals. Jimsonweed is named for a case of human poisoning in Jamestown, Va., when soldiers were poisoned by eating the plant in a salad and then suffered delirium and hallucinations.”

With a little more probing I actually found an old historical document that cited just how bizarre the incident with the British soldiers (who ingested this plant) really played out.

Captain John Smith- Founder of Jamestown

Jimsonweed – Jamestown Story

In 1676, British soldiers were sent to stop the Rebellion of Bacon. Jamestown weed (Jimsonweed) was boiled for inclusion in a salad, which the soldiers readily ate. The hallucinogenic properties of jimsonweed took affect.

As told by Robert Beverly in The History and Present State of Virginia (1705): The soldiers presented “a very pleasant comedy, for they turned natural fools upon it for several days: one would blow up a feather in the air; another would dart straws at it with much fury; and another, stark naked, was sitting up in a corner like a monkey, grinning and making faces at them; a fourth would fondly kiss and paw his companions, and sneer in their faces with a countenance more antic than any in a Dutch droll.

“In this frantic condition they were confined, lest they should, in their folly, destroy themselves – though it was observed that all their actions were full of innocence and good nature. Indeed they were not very cleanly; for they would have wallowed in their own excrements, if they had not been prevented. A thousand such simple tricks they played, and after 11 days returned to themselves again, not remembering anything that had passed.”

Jimsonweed References

Stephanie…if you ride by and see me running around, stark naked, screaming like a monkey…just smile and keep on riding…saying to yourself “That Ms. Dingle…she always was quite a character in her history classes.”

It is amazing just how many plants we use on a daily basis that are potentially poisonous to our pets or other wild grazing animals.

I know this year Anne didn’t plant any moon flowers for the first time in a long time because of her new dog Nala… she didn’t want to take a chance she might ingest the plant since she is still pretty much just a big curious puppy!

*And don’t forget from my children’s story research…that I discovered our own state flower (Yellow Jessamine) can be poisonous if mistaken for honeysuckle and ingested by children or eaten by deer.

So until tomorrow…Wisdom begins in wonder. Socrates

*From now on I think I will just refer to it as “Jimmy’s Trumpet!”

“Today is my favorite day” Winnie the Pooh

Dear Reader:

The search for unicorns and balance in life, for me, are pretty much in the same category…impossible. Okay…perhaps that is a little harsh…let me re-frame that….as Captain Jack Sparrow would say  “Improbable…but not impossible.”

The more I think about it…balancing work, friends, family, and self-interests is impossible on a daily basis…particularly if we set our goals too lofty and play the game of checking off everything on our daily to-do list. That will cause any sane person to go CRAZY!

…But over time we can accomplish balance. This is the area where we really need to simplify our goals into chew-able bites. I think this quote comes closest to what I think is accomplish-able in the elusive hunt for balance in our lives.

“What’s my purpose in life? I just want to achieve something today and I want to enjoy something today. And if I do both of those things today, I’m going to have a pretty good day. And if I do both of those things every day, for the rest of my life… I’m going to have a pretty good life.” Jim Bird 

For me…writing the blog satisfies both these purposes….a sense of achievement and pure enjoyment. If I ever considered writing the daily blog a chore, believe me, I would have stopped writing a long time ago. But writing is my passion, my time-out allotment to travel inside my head and return with any and everything that flags me down saying “Me…write about me today.”

…And because I achieve a sense of purpose and pure enjoyment each day I have to admit that “I’m having a pretty good life.” I wouldn’t trade it for any other! We just have to own up to the fact that some days our “sea legs” work better at balancing than other days.

I had to smile and chuckle at Kaitlyn’s latest blog about finding balance in her life…the dilemma between enjoying life daily or saving and sacrificing now for a bigger enjoyment later. With her permission provided…let me share her (witty and self-deprecating humor that I find refreshingly adorable) blog post.

“What Are You Waiting For?”

Have you ever found yourself holding back? Waiting for that perfect time? Perfect person? Perfect place? Of course you have, who are you kidding. You’re human.

I don’t think this is limited to big feats or adventures (i.e. go on the trip, what you are waiting for!) Honestly, I will buy a cute new article of clothing, and NOT WEAR IT for weeks because I’m waiting for the “perfect” or “right” opportunity. What the hell is the “right moment” to wear a bell-sleeved floral blouse? The thing is, I realize my absurdity, but I do it anyways. Brains, am I right?

My analysis of this bizarre behavior keeps bringing me back to my inability to live in the moment. This is all the more frustrating because being present is part of the stuff I rattle off all the time as a yoga teacher – “live in the present”, “be here, in this moment”, “all you have is now”. What a hypocrite. Ok, I’m not totally a hypocrite because I am aware and understand the value of living presently, and sometimes I’m REALLY good at it – usually when I’m having a great time and I’m sans electronics. It truly is something I work at CONSTANTLY – but I’m human, which is why I struggle with the pull of past and future.

When I’m not living now, I base decisions in some life down the road that doesn’t and might not ever exist. I “save” my new outfit for some “perfect” evening that may never come, instead of just rocking that romper to the grocery (DO IT!). Instead of going out to dinner with friends and ENJOYING a life right now I stay in because I’m terrified every penny I spend is one I wont have for my future trip to Ireland (what I find myself counting down days for). There’s nothing wrong with being smart, and planning ahead, but not living your life based on the future is absolutely NUTZ.

I really hate to say this because he’ll read this and congratulate himself but I realized a bit of this last night talking to my husband. I told him I wanted to do more things and maybe get out of town for a weekend – to essentially shake up the routine. He responded that was fine, but I would have to quit turning people down when they asked us to do things in the future….WHAT?! HOW DARE YOU TELL ME I’M CONTRIBUTING TO MY OWN PROBLEM! Clearly dinner isn’t as exciting as a trip to Dingle, Ireland so I shouldn’t waste my money…save, save, save….wait wait wait. Lunacy.

My waiting around, and saving for something “better” basically has me missing out on the opportunities of now. I as much as the next person, love to have something to look forward to. It’s ok if you have your fancy outfit saved for a special occasion, and you’re looking forward to that great trip you have planned. The issue comes when you let future events (especially ones that don’t yet exist) get in the way of living your life right now.  So, what are you waiting for?

“Life happens when you’re busy making other plans” – John Lennon

………………….

So until tomorrow…

*I think we should all be perfectly “unbalanced” with more smiles to give away than frowns.

“Today is my favorite day”  Winnie the Pooh

* Oops! I forgot another “pure enjoyment” in my life which also has a purpose and that is my garden and plants. Late yesterday evening…right before it got dark I took my trusty clippers out to cut down those sneaky vines that like to grow amid the flower beds and blooming plants.

I had made my way from the back to the front and was trimming the barrel contents (coleus, lantana, creeping jenny) in the front yard when a woman (and her adorable black and white checkered dog) stopped and called out to me.

“I admire your barrel of flowers every morning and evening when I walk by. I have never been successful in knowing what to plant and how to keep plants alive…so I will just enjoy your “barrel of beauty” vicariously.”

Wow! I thanked her…took some more photos…because reality check…this is the first summer that I have planted something in the barrel that has survived the summer…five years I have been at it…and this time it “took.” Like my writings…I am just a “vessel” gardener who lets God take care of my plants. Great job this summer God!

*And now the icing on the cake…I walked around to the back yard to put up the gardening tools. When I got to the back deck I noticed the solar lights, throughout the garden, were starting to come on. It is my favorite time of the evening…when the magic rises from the moonlit garden.

As I crossed the deck to the bedroom I looked at the mason jar solar light flickering on and then saw what was blooming in front of it…the Devil Tumpet vine bloom!  It looked like God had just painted the whole scene! A breath-taking good-night God!

Dear Reader:

I have been a “daydreamer believer” for as long as I have memory…far back into the recesses of childhood. I was that child in the classroom who was constantly caught staring out the windows turning clouds into shapes of animals…especially during arithmetic.

My cousins and siblings were all aware of it too…yelling things at me like “Mars to Becky….Mars to Becky…come inside, it’s time for supper.” (Always accompanied by peals of laughter)  I was always “zoning out” of reality in favor of imagination…or what psychologists today would call going into a “flow state” …which requires using the same part of the brain where creativity and imagination lie.

Creative types know, despite what their third-grade teachers may have said, that daydreaming is anything but a waste of time.

A little king dreams

Grandmother Wilson called me her little ‘lost lamb’ sometimes because she said I was always “woolgathering.”

It has only been as an adult that I have come to terms with being seen as “creative.” Before if I heard that term applied to me, I shook my head because I was just doing what I do. Creativity is the same thing as breathing to me…automated with no thought behind it…it is just who I am…me being me…and my thought processes being simply my thought processes.  I never realized that not everyone thinks the same way I think. Perhaps Steve Jobs best described it:

“Creativity is just connecting things. When you ask creative people how they did something, they feel a little guilty because they didn’t really do it, they just saw something. It seemed obvious to them after a while. That’s because they were able to connect experiences they’ve had and synthesize new things.”

Last January when I decided that my 2017 word for the year would be “Listen” I was talking to Doodle about my choice on the phone. I told her that I could definitely be a better listener but my humble excuse was that as soon as someone on the other side of the “line” mentioned someone or something….my brain had already gone into action… connecting, connecting, and connecting the person or thing to a line from a movie or book, a personal experience, or a thought from a conversation. By the time it had run all the circuits I only halfway knew what the present conversation was about.

It makes me appear not to be listening…but in actuality …my thought waves are simply coming from a different perspective or another starting point. It is just how my mind works.

An old article on characteristics of creative people is what finally made me realize that “these were my people.” (I always thought I must be a little different…I was always more of a dreamer than an action figure….all my action took place in my mind, not through physical exercise or games.)

Creative people are:

*Daydreamers  * People Watchers  * Crave time-outs for Solitude  *Turn life’s obstacles around  *Love new experiences  * Are “Big Question” people filled with curiosity * Follow their True Passions   * Surround themselves with Beauty  *Connect the dots in life

*Sometimes, however, creative people can ‘do a number on themselves’ psychologically. Case in point. If I perceive an off-handed comment or gesture as being something more than it is…my imagination turns an innocuous remark or comment  into my own worst enemy. Even something I read in a fictional book can turn against me.  For example:

(I am now reading the third book in the Louise Penny detective series (the Cruelest Month) and am loving it…each one more than the last. Can hardly wait to finish one to start the next one.)

In this latest book the famous detective Gamache is trying to figure out what killed a woman who appeared to have been literally frightened to death…the detective discovers from listening to the coroner’s report that it appeared the victim had once had breast cancer and the cancer had come back…lesions were found on the liver. More importantly, the doctor goes on to report that she had “fairly severe heart damage, almost certainly from her breast cancer.” ( result of intensive chemo) It was her heart that gave out.

So here goes my imagination…”Her heart? (I stop and put down the book)…I’m on chemo…is my heart doing okay? No one has mentioned it…I close the book, turn off the lights and then play out a hundred scenarios of all the night monster health possibilities that could happen… collectively called the “What If” monsters. By the time I am finished…I feel palpitations coming on. I am my worst monster!

Yesterday I had my regular three-month check-up with my beloved doctor, Dr. Montoya, family practice physician, and all the lab work came back just fine. I even asked her about my heart and she said it was doing just what it was meant to do….beating to a regular beat at a regular pace. Blood pressure was good…overall she was quite pleased with the check-up. Whew! Calm down imagination…you can be a menace when allowed to run rampart.

So until tomorrow…Let us use our God-given creativity to commune with the One and Only Creator in our special sacred places; while letting our imagination be used to enhance our lives, not trouble them.

“Today is my favorite day”  Winnie the Pooh

*Anne stopped by to see how my check-up went and brought a banana pudding cupcake to celebrate! YUMMY! Thank everyone for your thoughts and prayers while I awaited the latest medical report!

 * Guess what I found in the window of the CVS pharmacy pick-up window? One of those cute little rocks circulating on Facebook. I noticed it while the window pharmacist got my prescriptions and asked her to get it for me. (my arms were too short)

I wouldn’t have known what it was except Colby had one the day she and her grandmother, Jo Dufford, stopped by and she explained the story and significance of it. So I passed it on to Anne (had stopped by to drop off a book) and told her about it and where I had found it…she’s going to put it on Facebook and drop it off for someone else too. The little rock will keep on rocking!

Dear Reader:

Every year in the spring…the eighth grade English and Social Studies classes, at my school,  timed the study of the World World II unit with the reading of the  Diary of Anne Frank. It was a powerful integrated unit of study. Posters depicting war scenes, the homefront, and the Holocaust decked the hall walls between both sets of classes and curriculums.

It never failed that I would be walking down the hall, one day, each spring and hear the wail of the police car brakes screeching to an abrupt stop coming from the televisions in the English classes…the hiding place of Anne Frank and her family/friends had been discovered.They were being arrested. The sound of those sirens sent chills down my back and still do. I knew the movie was almost over for the English classes for another year…but the feelings would last forever.

Always at the end of the movie you could hear Anne’s voice above the sirens’ wail repeating the most famous quote from her journal.

 “In spite of everything I still believe that people are really good at heart.”

What wisdom at such a young age! It has taken me a lifetime to get there. It wasn’t until my adolescence that it finally dawned on me imaginary monsters under the bed or in the closets weren’t the scary things in life…it was other humans that brought terror, destruction, and misery to mankind. Yet humanity is, also, capable of so much more…we are capable of unconditional love and ultimate sacrifice. We see demonstrations of this every day via media or simply through daily observations.

In Ordinary Grace a little boy is killed by a train while sitting on the tracks daydreaming…a senseless loss of life it appears from afar…but yet during his short life…he brought a special goodness to the town.

“Bobby had a secret. You know what it was? It took nothing to make him happy. That was it. He held happiness in his hand easy as if he’d just, I don’t know, plucked a blade of grass from the ground. And all he did his whole short life was offer that happiness to anybody who’d smile at him. That’s all he wanted from me. From you. From anybody. A smile.”  William Krueger, Ordinary Grace

I think perhaps there should be another Beatitude…”Blessed are they who give love and smiles away…every single day; their goodness spills over the earth flourishing it until every single person blossoms into the best he or she can be.” 

Last week I didn’t have to look far to see the good in people. The light shone on my ole’ college room-mate and life long friend….Brooke. It was time for their annual Presbyterian Hands of Christ back-to-school supply program. It is massive, to say the least, in the planning stages…Brooke and a close church friend have been heading it up for years now.

This hands-on initiative supplies back-to-school outfits and/or uniforms, school supplies, socks, underwear to children in need. Brooke’s church provides for all eligible families in Colleton County. A gigantic undertaking.

Unexpectedly Brooke’s right-hand co-director lost her husband a week before the big date. It was devastating for Brooke, her friend, and the church community…he was quite loved by all who knew him. Another congregational member generously and graciously volunteered to help Brooke … but she had never headed up Hands of Christ before so much of the “grit work” would fall back on Brooke to pull this event together… in a week.

 Brooke went before the church and told them they needed volunteers desperately…“If you are walking down the street and see someone you don’t know…please drag them over here next Friday and Saturday  when you come.” It brought laughs but also provided the reality of what it was going to take to pull this wonderful giving endeavor together…a miracle of sorts!

The early part of the week was spent dropping leaflets off throughout Colleton County and gathering supplies for the big event. I sent Brooke a note card that talked of everyday miracles and I told her I  felt deep down in my heart that she was going to witness just that …an “ordinary miracle” gone extraordinary.

The text came Saturday evening….”HANDS of CHRIST WAS A HUGE SUCCESS SERVING 307 children! Miracles do happen. I went from 17 volunteers last Sunday to 90 today! AMAZING Boo, miracles do happen. My heart is FULL!”  

Brooke said they opened the event by holding hands, and pouring water over them while repeating the famous quote by St. Teresa of Avila.

“Christ has no body now but yours. No hands, no feet on earth but yours. Yours are the eyes through which he looks compassion on this world. Yours are the feet with which he walks to do good. Yours are the hands through which he blesses all the world. Yours are the hands, yours are the feet, yours are the eyes, you are his body. Christ has no body now on earth but yours.”

So until tomorrow…if we wake up each day feeling blessed for simply being alive and not stressed about something in the day ahead…if we expect and look for goodness in people we will find it. We will also find the opposite, meanness, if we spend our days looking for that. Good and evil exist side by side…it is up to us to choose which path we go down…each and every day.

Proverbs 11:27:

“If you search for good, you will find favor; but if you search for evil, it will find you!”

“Today is my favorite day”  Winnie the Pooh

* Yesterday I got my lab work done first thing in the morning and then headed to Mt. Pleasant because Mandy discovered she needed to get another round of lab work done, also, and she wanted to get it done before the family leaves for Disney World tomorrow morning…the last mini-vacation before school starts back.

So as soon as I finished mine…I headed to Mt. P to keep the children while Mandy went to get her lab work done. Mandy had also made an appointment to get both Jake’s and Eva Cate’s hair cut…and oh, poor Jakie…he was already screaming “NO” in fear before we left the house…the signs didn’t look good…but “good” arrived in the nick of time.

Jakie’s little eyes were already red from sniffling before we left the house. Kicking and screaming the “miracle worker” hair-cutter remained calm, got him an ice-cee and talked to him slowly and quietly…it was like he was mesmerized by the sound of her voice. It took about 60 seconds for him to miraculously calm down…sit perfectly still, hold on to “Night Night” (his blankie) and finally look in the mirror. So cute!

Eva Cate, of course, loves getting her hair fixed and the “miracle worker” braided her hair in about three minutes while she was blow drying  it…this lovely, sweet woman is GOOD!

Lily, Eva Cate’s best friend, came over for a swim so Eva Cate got to show off her new look.

Everyone was in smiles by the time I left…we all had some ‘intimidating challenges’ but collectively we discovered the day is defined by the number of good people there are for us when we need them in less than desirable situations.

Dear Reader:

Yesterday morning I woke up early thinking I would get my blood work done and out of the way as soon as my doctor’s office opened…but when I pulled in at 8:00 on the dot…there was a sign on the door apologizing for the inconvenience but the lab worker would not be in this day.

Bummer! Got up for early for nothing…but then I started thinking how pretty it looked outside through the bedroom window before I left and how cool the breezes felt…and I had a different thought.

“I didn’t get up early for nothing…I got up early for something.”

…And like a child…I began playing hide and seek with the sun’s first lights filtering into the garden and the shadows enveloping the rest of it. The plants were equally beautiful, whether in the sun or shade…but when the sun’s rays shone through them there was such an ethereal quality about them that it took my breath away.

It started with the one of my newest plants I had just gotten planted over the weekend before the rains came…the Celosia Flame. The sun’s rays hit just the spot where it was located and set it all “aflame’…beautiful!

Then came the beautiful morning glories waiting on their 15 minutes of fame!

I walked around to the front of the house and the front yard was still enveloped in shade except for flickers of light on the roof and porch. My happy home!

All the flowers along the fence had shadows behind them as the sun’s rays touched each one in turn. Even in the garage, the light hit the 1954 child’s tractor and fairy wheel barrow.

It was Eva Cate’s Japanese Maple that was the first tree kissed by the sun yesterday morning…

My small pink Mexican petunias just got re-located and were smiling in the warm delight of early sunlight.

By the time I had snapped pictures and then watered the front, back,  side yards…gardens, plants, and planters…and finally plopped down in front of the computer to start today’s blog I glanced out the window and the scene (that had started it all) was now receiving its first touch of sunshine for the day. (Clerodendrum, Ginger Shell, and Moon Flower Vine) I had come full circle and it wasn’t even noon. What a way to spend the morning! God’s and my Sanctuary!

It was such a spiritual experience and so unexpected…all because a lab worker couldn’t come to work. Isn’t it wonderful when God gives us the blessing of time…a wonderful interruption in our daily plans just to let us know He cares?

Just as I was falling asleep Sunday evening and saying a prayer that my blood work and check-up later this week go well…I heard a beep on my Iphone (that I always toss on my bed before going to sleep in case of an emergency) go off rather loudly. When I picked it up I realized that I had tossed the phone next to a book I was reading and the vibration was bouncing off the book cover.

I glanced to see who it was…and discovered exactly Who it was. A verse of scripture popped up…I read it…smiled and told God quietly “Thank you for Your prompt response!” And immediately fell into a restful sleep.

So until tomorrow…Take advantage of unexpected gifts of time…they are the most precious gifts of all.

“Today is my favorite day”  Winnie the Pooh

Don’t forget to say “Rabbit” first thing today. I hope August is a wonderful month for all of us.

Brookie is going to be a grandmother again…Caleb (Boogie Boy) is going to have a little sister in January. Everyone is doing great and now Walsh and Mollie’s little girl will have a playmate. Brooke and I are too excited! Can’t believe little Caleb will be two just shortly before his little sister arrives. Times flies…it seems like this picture was just taken yesterday. (Veronica, Baby Caleb, and Riley)

Walsh shared some photos from their weekend visit to Asheville to see his close friend Robertson and his adorable family…especially little Della. So glad they are staying such close friends!