Dear Reader:

I always automatically thank God for another day upon rising…usually in the form of a nod or smile upward but God knows our little ritual and meaning by now. Tuesday night Hallmark had a new movie on…Rome in Love (*I know…perhaps these type shows are a little or a lot too “saccharine” for you…but quite honestly…these days I find myself drawn to lighter comedies, fun summer reads, and romance shows…because they provide a calming respite during these times of  unrest. *Plus the movie was filmed in Rome and I have never been there…so I can tour vicariously in my air-conditioned Happy Room in my recliner…a quite comfortable way to tour.

In this particular plot a young American writer is suffering from a bad case of “writer’s block” and confesses to his Italian landlord that perhaps he should just go back home to the states. She gives him this motherly advice:

“Why don’t you try waking up each morning and asking the universe….“I wonder what this day will bring?” and then simply follow its guide in anticipation of marvelous things coming your way. Don’t force it…wait for it.

Yesterday morning I thought about this… so after giving God my nod for another day of life… I began remembering some unexpected surprises daily life has brought me recently.

*I was eating breakfast at Alexis’ restaurant with friends last week and began talking to a couple seated next to us. The wife was originally from Texas and her husband had just taken her to Fort Sumter the previous day.

I told her I wanted to take  Eva Cate before she starts third grade and inquired about the trip…we had a great conversation before they left. It wasn’t until I started looking around for our bill that the waitress informed me that my new friends had paid for our whole table.

* Sunday, on a whim to “lay my eyes” on my old college roomie (Brookie) to make sure she and Ted were progressing along since returning home…I grabbed some barbecue I had gotten for them from the night before eating out with friends and drove to Walterboro. Perfect timing…we had a chance to catch up and just be together again…it had been a long time coming.

*Monday was ‘one of those days’ you don’t want repeated….a ‘domino effect’ day where simple routines get mysteriously complicated. Case in point…I went to drop off my cable bill with my check included inside the envelope through a slot in the door for weekend and after hour payments….only to discover later in the day that another blank check of mine had stuck to the original one I had placed in the envelope.

Myrtle, the teller, called to let me know what happened and she assured me she would secure my blank check until I returned to pick it up. How terribly kind and also embarrassing at the same time…really Becky? One more trip to the cable center on top of several other payment location frustrations that day…still…thank goodness for the honest Myrtles in the world. A wonderful act of kindness.

Each day does represent unexpected opportunities and challenges but that is what makes life interesting…if every day were the same…think how boring life would be?

I was out in the garden yesterday in time to see the sun’s rays hitting different points of light among the garden plants…so pretty. It was when the sun hit my gazing garden ball Joan gave me…that a quote jogged my memory.

“You are not a drop in the ocean…You are the ocean in a drop.” Rumi

Isn’t that a powerful thought? It was this ancient Persian poet/philosopher who also reminded us ….”Stop acting so small…You are the universe in ecstatic motion.”

It appears to me through readings by poets, theologians, philosophers from ancient times until now…that God delivers us to Earth in the complete package…the universe tightly tucked away inside each of us…connected to everything and everyone else.

C.S. Lewis follows this pattern of reflection when he reminds us “We meet no ordinary people in life.”  How right he is….instead we meet “Honest Myrtles” “Philanthropist Strangers” and roommates who become support sisters with appendages to draw us together again and again throughout life.

So until tomorrow….

“Today is my favorite day”  Winnie the Pooh

*I stopped by Anne’s home yesterday to deliver another book to her in the Irish Connor O’Shea series and looked up to see her periwinkle moon flowers…so beautiful. Anne and I only had time to beep and wave as she was coming back into her subdivision from having her dog, Nala, groomed as I was heading out.

*****Don’t forget! It is the first day of the new month so remember to say “Rabbit”!  I thought I would use the left over stuffed “rabbit dog” from Easter for today’s photo entry since August is our “Dog Days” month.

Eva Cate is taking a drama camp this summer. It is putting on a very small production of the Lion King…she tried out for Simba and got one of the parts..(since Simba grows up in the production several different-sized children need to play the role of the lion at different stages)…she is Little Simba 2 and has a duet with Nala...Simba’s girl friend lioness. I can hardly wait to see and hear the performance Friday. Eva Cate is practicing her lines and song long and hard. She is so excited!! 🙂

*

Dear Reader:

This time of year hydrangeas are more beautiful to me than in spring when the blooms of blue, pink, white, or purple hues first open into the new season and year of life.

As they are now slowly drying up in the late July heat on the plant…I start preparing my glass jars (with a little water) to welcome them inside to let them enjoy their “retirement” time for as long as possible.

When I walk through the garden I purposefully stop and stare intently inside the drying hydrangea…it is like looking through a kaleidoscope as a child…the more one stares the more patterns and subtle colors seem to emerge within.

I have always thought that as we age… our outer looks, our vessel, begins to fade…. if we are really lucky…another, more subtle beauty starts to transpire…reflected in our voice, eyes, and mannerisms. The memory of who we really are beneath our skin… begins to show to those we love around us and who love us in return..

It is like what Mufasa tells Simba…“Remember who you are.” 

…because one day it will be who you reflect… in the qualities you best represent…in the life you have lead.

So we need to stop worrying about losing the bright colors of our youth and instead appreciate the more subtle, diversified shades created from our accumulated life experiences. Good and bad.

The real joy these days is still feeling wanted and loved…I smile appreciatively when a grandchild asks when I will return to see them or when our family next gathers for a cook-out.

*I recently read the best answer to that question for young children who still don’t understand time.

Conor O’Shea’s (main character in a book I am reading) little six-year-old twin boys always ask their dad (when he is leaving to conduct a tour of Ireland)

….”How many sleeps before you are back, Dad?” 

Now that is the perfect way to look at time for children…and adults. “How many sleeps before we see certain loved ones again or before we have another Ya retreat or before we see a friend who lives out-of-town… or even before medical appointments or any other kind of calendar event.

So until tomorrow…Isn’t it wonderful that God, our Creator, is the only One who knows how many “sleeps” we have in our individual lives…and the one lingering question we can all ask

…“How many sleeps before you are back, Father?”

“Today is my favorite day”  Winnie the Pooh

*Ann Graves received some wonderful news yesterday….after completing her chemo treatments a couple of weeks ago…she heard from her surgeon that  the original tumor has shrunk to the point that the surgeon will now only have to perform a lumpectomy on her! Relief, happiness, and thankfulness…including everyone’s prayers! The symbolic bell, at the end of her chemo treatments, did ring hope and new beginnings!

Dear Reader:

I think some of the most colorful expressions  I ever heard or learned came from Grandmother Wilson, some female cousins, and neighbors who would gather under an oak tree (outside the back screen door off the porch) in the hot weather to catch some shade while they shelled and snapped peas.

This favorite past time, spent in the summers with these ladies, was my own personal introduction to the world of idioms and axioms. It, sadly, is a world that no longer exists in the rural south.

Even though I was only around seven or eight probably at the time it was easy to figure out these old-fashioned rural farm expressions by the stories being told around them. When I look back on these times I now realize that the vast majority of these expressions originated from every day experiences living on a farm and growing cotton and vegetables side by side while still maintaining the traditional flower bed.

While waiting in line at the bank the other day…I caught just enough of one elderly gentleman’s remarks to the teller that brought back one of these funny expressions. The gentleman was explaining that his bank account had “gone to seed” since his great- grandson went to college and he was helping him with some of the expenses.

(“Gone to seed“….I hadn’t heard that expression since my childhood “shelling” sessions with grandmother and her neighbors. It all came flooding back…)

I can still picture the scene…half-broken wooden chairs placed in a circle in the shade around the oak tree…collenders and buckets sitting beside each chair and seemingly endless bags and bags of peas waiting to be shelled and beans to be snapped. But what made it fun were the animated conversations going on….mostly gossip!

I distinctly remember one gossip session because it made me laugh so hard…the women were gossiping about some lady in the little country Presbyterian church (Friendship church) that grandmother and the family attended. Apparently this lady had recently lost her husband and was desperately in search of another…so she tried to “paint” her hair (as they called “coloring” back then) turning it perfectly orange.

She had apparently tried to hide it under a big hat but to no avail from the congregation’s hawk eyes. There was a lot of snickering going on before the pastor started the sermon in which he, too, was having a hard time controlling his merriment…and disguising it with frequent coughing sessions…his grin hidden under  a big white handkerchief.

One “sheller” proclaimed that the poor woman, not only was not going to find her a man with that orange “clown” hair…but she had also let herself “go to seed” and there was no way to put the bloom back on the flower after it had fallen off and “gone to seed.” All the women were nodding in agreement… as if in unison.

Dictionary: “Go to seed” After a plant has flowered, it falls apart, sending its seeds into the soil. As the plant dies, it ‘goes to seed’.

Another “sheller” might laugh and call out a name of some man in the church who might have this poor woman, orange hair and all…the name sent everyone laughing in hysterics…because unfortunately (but apparently) this gentleman had buck teeth so bad…it was expressed like this….“He could eat corn through a picket fence.”

Any time the women decided some man was ‘gitting too big for his britches’ in his high opinion of himself …they might use the expression…”He thinks the sun comes up just to hear him crow.”

On farms (not just in the South) roosters usually crow when the sun rises. Their vociferous habit wakes up the house, signaling time to work.

An extremely cocky rooster might think the sun rises simply because he crows. Similarly, an extremely cocky man might think the same when he speaks — and also that everyone should listen to him.

Looking back nostalgically on these times spent with these pioneer stock “women” in my life…I am thankful for the life lessons I learned from their difficult lives making meager incomes while raising large farm families…the price of cotton in any particular season was the number one topic….it controlled the quality of their economic lives.

Summer after summer hope never died while shelling peas…surely this would be the year they would all be living in “high cotton.” For many…it just remained a dream but these staunch believers never lost their faith.

I do remember Grandmother always checking my little crimson Sunday-go-to meeting dresses in the long mirror in the hall to make sure they weren’t “catawampus” on me before we left for service….that was a big “no no” back then….ladies made sure their Sunday dresses and little girl frocks came down long enough and were hemmed perfectly straight.

Catawampus adj: askew, awry, cater-cornered. 

So until tomorrow….Let us remember that “Traditions are the stories that families tell together.” It is important to remember even small memories from our time with those who came before us and loved us. Laughter is one of the my fondest traditions to pass down.

“Today is my favorite day”  Winnie the Pooh

Another unique tradition for me that I hope I can safely pass down one day (in the not so near future 🙂  is “Little Big Red”….we must keep him going… no matter what!

Dear Reader:

One of the hardest things we face, as humans on earth, is waiting…not just waiting for the sake of waiting…but knowing when to wait and when to act. From the time we are children we get such contradictory advice about this important lesson in life.

Dr. Seuss warns us about getting stuck in the Waiting Room.…He describes it as….

“People just waiting. Waiting for a train to go or a bus to come, or a plane to go or the mail to come, or the rain to go, or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow or waiting around for a Yes or No or waiting for their hair to grow. Everyone is just waiting.”

Waiting for the fish to bite or waiting for wind to fly a kite or waiting around for Friday night or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake or a pot to boil, or a Better Break or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants or a wig with curls, or Another Chance. Everyone is just waiting.”

His advice matches John Lennon’s famous advice…”Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans.” In other words…while waiting to make decisions ….life goes on with or without us present to it.

It is this line of advice that makes me extremely anxious….am I guilty of this? “Am I overthinking projects, ideas, or plans instead of just getting out there and doing them?” “Is life passing me by?”

Yet on the flip side…we have also received advice from our elders and others about taking time to ‘look before we leap‘ or repeating the English proverb…“Good things come to those who wait.”

This tug-of-war advice is enough to give us a headache when we are going through life-altering changes and wondering if we should take the first offer on the house or wait….or commit to a relationship or wait a little longer…perhaps wait on the decision to move until certain things have ‘fallen into place’ or wait for ‘signs’ to give us more direction in any changing endeavor we face.

I think this is where I find myself, these days, in my stage of life. I don’t know the answers to so many “waiting” questions…but God does. And the irony is…while we are waiting…God is working. Have we ever considered that waiting gives God time to change us...because if we aren’t different before we makes certain changes..then the results of what we wish to reap will go back to the axiom…”We reap what we sow.” (Repeated patterns of  mistaken ideas bringing more disappointment.)

I came across the same questions being asked (in beautiful prose) by my lovely daughter-in-law, Kaitlyn. I love her writings because they are so sincere, down-to-earth, honest and yet ethereal in their imagery.

I texted to see if I could borrow her thoughts for today’s post and she, as usual, gave me a resounding “Of course!”

So until tomorrow…Let’s try waiting to follow through… until we feel universally and spiritually directed towards a certain place or experience that is calling us.

“Today is my favorite day”  Winnie the Pooh

Come stroll with me in my garden on a beautiful Sunday summer day!

And look who is getting ready to return again….my Mr. Lincoln Rose! I am so excited! Just a thought…wouldn’t it be wonderful if President Lincoln could return too….but then I wonder if he would think his Civil War paled in comparison with ours today???  🙂

Surprise visit to see Ted and Brooke yesterday…everyone is doing amazingly great! Oreo, their cat doesn’t let them out of his sight….a month without his ‘mom and dad’ was way too long.

Brooke’s back patio is her “Happy Place”….we didn’t solve all the world’s problems yesterday but we gave it our best effort!

Dear Reader:

I received an article from my good friend and loyal blog supporter, Janet Bender, a few days ago and pulled it yesterday to read. It was as if the article had just been patiently waiting for me to click it on…it provided me a special word I have been searching for….almost twelve years…and as if that wasn’t enough…it gave me a new outlook on Anne Peterson’s “Carolina Girl” painting. (The one of me looking out to sea.) *I was supposed to read this article.

As soon as I started on it…I knew why Janet thought of me immediately when she initially read it. It is a true story by the author, Niki Hardy. She finds herself, one day, in the one place she never wanted to be listening to a diagnosis she had heard sadly from her mother and sister in her family…and now, ironically, it appeared to be her time.  She describes this moment:

“It’s either cancer or lymphoma. That’s what the doctor said. I was stunned into silence, or perhaps it was the anesthesia still coursing through my veins. All I managed was a faint, “Oh.”

A cancer diagnosis is devastating enough, but I’d just lost my sister to this awful disease six weeks before, and my mom six years before that. Had the heat-seeking missile of death now locked in on me? My mind raced and swirled.

Are you kidding me, God, after all I’ve done for You?
What have I done to deserve this?
Are You mad at me?
Where’s this full, abundant life You promised me?”

Niki hit the nail on the head in describing her feelings and disappointment that God let her down….how many times have we all felt the same terrifying estrangement at our lowest points in life?

Niki goes on to describe all the usual treatments that followed…chemo, radiation, and surgery. As time went by she found a support group who knew exactly how she was feeling and were there to let her know that each one of them had felt the same disappointments in life, the universe, and even God at varying times. It is always hard to figure out who or what you are mad at….but anger is a predominant feeling.

It was at this point in the story…I about fell out of my beloved recliner…this support group told her that they had come up with a new name for a cancer survivor…because no one liked this term!

*I did a whole blog on that same frustration (some of you might remember a couple of years ago about the time of our team Relay for the Cure walk)…I always felt like the term “survivor” was not truthful in the sense that in my case cancer hadn’t and probably wouldn’t leave me permanently but I was so fortunate to be one of millions in our country and the world living with cancer due to modern medicine and in my case…holding tightly to God’s Hand.

I love the word these gals came up with….it has made my day! Thanks Niki for this excerpt!

…“During treatment, I met people who’d ditched the name “survivor” for its more hope-filled cousin, “thriver.” They didn’t deny that life had fallen apart, but they simply embraced the joy, connection, life and laughter to be found in its wreckage. I wanted to do that, too.”

Me too….from now on…I, Becky “Boo Boo” Dingle am a THRIVER and yes… anyone can put that label by my name!

Nikki continues:

…”I wanted to escape the pain of suffering, and slowly, I learned that life doesn’t have to be pain-free to be full. The full life Jesus gives us doesn’t look like the glossy, happy-skippy, healthy, wealthy feeds we scroll through absentmindedly in the checkout line. Instead, it’s like small, uncut rubies buried in the rubble of our here and now.

Friend, Jesus made it possible for us to thrive, not just survive.”

In spite of my breast cancer going on almost 12 years (isn’t that in itself miraculous?) I am thriving…I have an amazing family, grown children, adorable grandchildren, and friends who are part of my extended family of life…you know who you are…and you are on the top branches of my Tree of Life. (As well as all of you, my new friends and readers from the blog…you, who, make my life sparkle.)

And speaking of sparkling…As Niki Hardy (she said her scary health experience has made her live up to her surname! ) finished her story….she made the following reference…and that became the link to “Carolina Girl.”

Anne and I talked about the painting she did and how I am looking towards the horizon where it is calm and beckoning me to it…and purposefully not looking down around my feet where the turbulent waters can be found. The idea is for us to always look towards our own individual horizons and not get bogged down in the every day struggles we all face.

But then Niki Hardy put a new twist on this idea in her conclusion that I love for an ending too….

“Can I invite you to shift your gaze from the constant search for calmer waters? Instead, look around you, even down at your feet amongst the pain, mess and pressure, for the rubies buried there.

We don’t need to have all the answers; we simply need to be willing. Willingness is hope, trust and faith all bundled into a tentative yes. A yes that says: “I am a thriver. I believe life doesn’t have to be pain-free to be full, and with God’s help, I’m jolly well going to grab it.”

So until tomorrow…”AMEN!” 🙂

(Source: “What If Life Doesn’t Have to be Pain-Free to be Full?” Niki Hardy  (God Updates)

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Luke came over and sprayed my front, side, back yard and garden for mosquitoes Thursday night and yesterday I watered, picked up sticks, fallen branches, and pine cones…for at least two hours and didn’t get one bite. THANK YOU LUKE!!!!

I found my own “ruby among the rubble” as I was picking up yard trash rubble and watering plants…I had to look a second time…but one of my hostas is getting ready to bloom…a beautiful shade of ruby pink!

Dear Reader:

As we get older don’t we all wish and hope that our presence will somehow have changed the world or someone in it for the better because of our existence after we are gone? If not…was our short stay on this amazing planet worth the creation?

The problems today seem so tantamount to the release of the original Pandora’s Box that it is hard for me to even wrap my mind around the increasing amount of troubles this old weary world sees on a daily continuum. How would one even start to change this world …where havoc runs amok?

Simply put…one person can’t… but one step can. What is the old joke…how does one eat an elephant…one bite at a time? It is the secret to change.

*A short essay supposedly originally written by an unknown monk perhaps best answers the question of how to change the world. Food for thought.

“I Wanted to Change the World”

“When I was a young person I wanted to change the world. This was impossible, so I tried  to change my country. That didn’t work so I decided to change my state. No luck. Next I attempted to change my community. Nada. So as I aged I thought it wise to just change my family. Failed.

So now, as an old person, I realize that I can only change myself. Oh, how I wish I understood this long ago as I could have made a positive impact on my family. Then my family and I could have made a difference in our community. Together our community could have made great changes in our state, and then our state could go on to impact our country and then … I could have said that I changed the world.”

It all starts with us….Doodle gave me the BOO sign on my deck brick wall years ago and it has survived potential hurricanes, tropical storms…when I am sitting in the lounge chair in the evenings counting my blessings while gazing at my garden… I see BOO in big letters on the wall and are reminded that it is up to me to make a difference in the world…not to wait on someone else to do it for me.

So until tomorrow….“Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for. We are the change that we seek.”

• My old-fashioned long thin-stemmed sun flowers are all in bloom now…they make me smile each morning welcoming me to a new day!

Mandy said the kids had a ball at Splash Mountain yesterday and from the photos I think she’s right! I love how Eva Cate and Jake are so close (holding hands).sibling fighting..sure…part of growing up…but for four years difference in age… they truly love and protect each other.

Dear Reader:

I have a “hang-up” with labels to the point that I dream sometimes about a world in which we simply are our name….no descriptive physical adjective label or occupational label added… no religious or geographical label identified, or age or health-related label.

Yesterday when I broke down and went to the grocery store…one of my least favorite chores…I saw the generic tissue box first and then was happily surprised at the glass cleaner bottle….how perfect…no brand or label…it just told me what it was…period. So refreshing!

It is the health-related label that first got me thinking about labels in general…my deepest fear when I was diagnosed with breast cancer (wasn’t the time limitation on my life…thank goodness that didn’t play out as originally predicted) but it was the thought that I would become that ‘lady with cancer’….The whispered…”Oh you know Becky don’t you…the one with breast cancer?”

I wonder sometimes if in the Garden of Eden before temptation and sin entered the world if Adam and Eve experienced a “utopia”  like no one who followed has ever been able to experience…no preconceived idea about them from God who talked to them in the garden…He simply called them by name.

Some of our worse childhood memories deal with ‘labels’ we were given by our peers growing up….the dreaded “nicknames” we tried to flee from at recess or the bus stop. These labels stuck with us forever and even today…probably still hurt in hindsight. And the worst part of it… these labels didn’t come from just one’s peers…but from adults in charge of educating us.

There were labels for advanced students, mediocre ones, and especially for struggling learners like ‘retarded or slow.’ Even today…the labels have changed to supposedly sound less demeaning…but to children labeled ‘academically challenged or ‘learning disabled’ the label still causes emotional hurt and stress.

As I go through life these days (on a daily basis) I find myself looking for ways to acknowledge people in service jobs with a comment about the weather or something funny we both witnessed or a compliment about someone’s name…just anything to make a connection on a basic human communication level…with no labels added. We are simply two humans.

Even before the famous Apollo 11 mission…earlier missions like Apollo 8 had experienced something that philosophers had long predicted would be a revelation to man unlike any other. What was it? Seeing earth floating in space for the first time.

To this day the astronauts who have witnessed this once-in-a lifetime experience admit it has changed their perception of the world and life in general forever. One of the smallest words in the dictionary…AWE…is the only word they all agree upon that comes close to what a human feels looking back at his home planet floating in darkness and light.

One astronaut immediately thought…John Lennon had it right all the time. From his beautiful song Imagine...he described it perfectly. No countries, religions, only space and sky above…no possessions…nothing to fight and die for…

Each astronaut came away with one thought in common….We are all connected in the universe. No labels…we are all one.

So until tomorrow…Remember labels are for cans…not people…and especially not little people…not our precious children.

“Today is my favorite day”  Winnie the Pooh

*However there is one label I do love to use because it symbolizes life… and that label is:

Happy Birthday to my brother Ben and Vikki…another daughter in the family….wife to Lee and mother to precious Rhodes. I decided  to put some old photos in celebrating Rhode’s arrival and birthday since he is the gift that keeps on giving every day on your birthdays and every other day of the year.

*Vikki….after Ben left Summerville and our birthday lunch and little party…he texted me late that night and said the best part of the day was the time he spent with Rhodes…he was thrilled at Rhodes loving up on him! Quite emotional about it.

Dear Reader:

Sometimes in the evenings as I sit on my garden bench I look at the Japanese Maples and imagine how each grandchild’s tree will look in five, ten or more years. Sadly I realize that one day the house and garden will belong to someone else…someone who might want the back yard again in its bare state minus a garden or fountain or planted trees and plants.

The thought saddens me. I feel so protective of my sanctuary filled with dreams of my grown grandchildren returning to see their giant maple trees with their faded names beside them. But what if they have been removed…cast away as if they never existed? Will it have been enough to just have enjoyed them for the time we both lived in the garden together? I feel as much like their guardian as I do their gardener.

And then I found an excerpt from a poet I vaguely remember studying in English Literature at college….Rabindranath Tagore.He became (in 1913) the first non-European to win the Nobel Prize in Literature.  Tagore’s poetic songs were viewed as spiritual and his “elegant prose and magical poetry” mystical.  He was , also, referred to as “the Bard of Bengal”.

 When I came across this stanza from his poem “The Gardener” I felt like we had somehow crossed paths along the same thought waves.

“The Gardener”

— The Gardener, 1915

I would love if someone owning my home or property in the future would end up sitting by one of the Japanese Maples and start wondering about the names on each tree . And then somehow start hearing my voice whispering back …”They were named for my grandchildren…my beloved grandchildren.”

My brother Ben’s birthday is Friday and the local chapter of Veterans Affairs in Conway is throwing him a party. Yesterday he and a friend, Rick, stopped by the house (after visiting Lee, Vikki and adorable little Rhodes) … I was able to give him his birthday presents followed by all of us going to Oscars for a birthday lunch.

The waiter, Mitch, I remembered from an earlier visit…and soon we were all chatting with him and started asking about his life and discovered some fascinating stories about him and his girlfriend.

We decided we all wanted to give Mitch some extra attention and tips… we filled out a card praising his warmth and great service. Rick made the comment as we left that he was sure all four of us would be repaid with good karma. It was a wonderful time together.

This piece of prose by Rabindranath Tagore seemed to fit our fun comraderie time with our waiter at lunch yesterday.

*(Emily McDowell Art Studio)

Dear Reader:

I gave the Ya’s each a set of these funny stickies since we were all laughing about turning into those “parents” and “grandparents” who can’t help themselves…but must impart their wisdom on everything to everyone in the family. Count me in this group! 🙂 *(My children’s heads are nodding about now)

First, let me explain the irony of this position that most parents of grown children, or grandparents or siblings, aunts, uncles…cousins…find themselves in when it comes to helping others make big decisions. We, ourselves, of course, hate unsolicited advice.

…Especially when it arrives in the form of unsolicited telephone calls. Don’t you despise these interruptions during your day? I keep getting more and more of them…my poor little ole’ IPhone tries to warn me with messages like SCAM LIKELY but that doesn’t stop them….I still have to stop what I am doing, find them, and delete them.

*I even tried contacting a federal agency about them and instead got some federal communication propaganda message on this or that bill that had passed and how much better this problem is now than it used to be?????

I thought “You’ve got to be kidding…this problems is ten-fold worse now than in years past for me”…and apparently others agreed as I had to laugh at their comments to this propaganda message…one responder said  “Are you living on another planet…or do you get a federal break from these insistently annoying unsolicited telephone calls from writing that false communication letter…getting better…it is terrible!!!!!!!!!!”

So I think we can all agree that unsolicited phone calls are up there with finger nails on a black board. Every day, about 45 million spam text messages are sent to North American cellphones. After reading several options on how to try to rid yourself of them…I discovered that there are more warnings than options. If you respond… many use this to put you at the top of the list and others start sending crude vulgar messages back.

Unwanted advice or information IS irritating…to put it mildly…yet aren’t we all guilty sometimes of giving advice when it isn’t asked of us in the first place? Okay, okay…I confess that I just can’t help myself sometimes…chalk it up to age and experience…I really just want to help my adult “children” not make the same mistakes I did.

Surely in retrospect my “wisdom” can help someone else not make the same choice or mistake I did with a similar situation now for them. Nope…it doesn’t work that way.

We humans are wired strangely…there is just no other way to explain it. We don’t like hearing advice about a choice before we make it…but suddenly when we feel low and badly about a situation the first person we want to talk to…is still mom or dad …perhaps a grandparent…aunt or uncle. And now we listen to their advice.

In other words preventive “unsolicited yet excellent advice” never works! We humans apparently must make our own mistakes, dig ourselves out of the lowest trenches, and then we are ready to listen.

Metaphorically…it is similar to preventive medicine. We know if we smoke or drink too much or over-take prescription drugs or over-eat or never exercise…we are playing roulette with our health. But then if something happens and we get a scary diagnosis or find ourselves in a critical life-altering situation…suddenly we are “all ears.”

Every now and then, in a rare moment, I get a text thanking me for some information or advice I gave…I keep these locked up in electronic favorite folders…but more so …in my heart.

One day dear “children” you will feel the sting of rejection when no one wants your opinion any more (it’s all part of your children growing up)….after making thousands of choices for your own little children for years…it will be hard to let go.

The clock is ticking…before you know it…your precious little children (my adorable grandchildren) will start rolling their eyes at your advice (believe me by their teenage years you will have become a moron again) and their exaggerated sighs… will be loud enough to send geese scattering back to Canada.

So enjoy the moment and remember Boo’s forewarning.. today’s toddler and pre-school temper tantrums aren’t fun…but compared to teenage antics…you will look back longingly at the ‘good old days.’

So until tomorrow….”You’re welcome for all the advice!” 🙂

“Today is my favorite day”  Winnie the Pooh

It took awhile for the storm (associated with the impending weather front to arrive)… It was after seven…but I was delighted to see it and will be even happier with the cooler weather tomorrow. (Anne just stepped outside and texted me to say the temps are already dropping) She was already happy….look! Two moon flower blooms…the first of the season!

Happiness is…I took Luke and Chelsey’s photo by “Little Big Red” yesterday evening…there are five potential buds blooming or about to bloom…thanks Chelsey for saving and cloning “Big Red.”

*** Today’s blog is number 1700 since November 24, 2014. Then add on the number of blogs written since the original first blog message started- July 2010 until Nov 24, 2014 – (2,177) and add them together…I have written to date 3, 877 blog posts in total…give or take a few. 🙂

Dear Reader:

Have you ever gotten in a “funk” when you are just “not with the program?” I remember telling my own students (who were day dreaming or writing notes during class) to “get with the program.” (follow the procedures)… Yet now it is me struggling to do just that…I suppose I could blame it on the new cancer prescriptions…it has become the target for all my other complaints…so just add this one to the list. Honestly, however, I think it is just me…who is now doing the day dreaming…

I feel myself just kind of drifting off for no reason…until a noise, the phone, a loud commercial on television, a knock on the door startles me out of my reverie. I am definitely not “in the moment”…and I couldn’t tell you exactly where I was…even if I were being interrogated by the police…I am just out there somewhere thinking about something… and nothing.

I have certainly been berating and admonishing myself for my lack of “togetherness” lately… but all for naught.

I just finished a wonderful little summer read called “The Tour” by Jean Grainger that takes place in Ireland. It was touching and hilarious at the same time…about a group of tourists in a small private coach seeing the sights of Ireland together and learning about each other along the way.

The main character-the tour guide Conor O’Shea- is quite memorable…especially because of his own self-deprecating Irish humor. He continuously calls  himself an “eegit” numerous times throughout the story for forgetting to do certain things on time.

This is a term one finds used most frequently in Ireland, Scotland, and Australia….like most words it can be a hurtful connotation if directed at one from strangers… but normally in these countries it is used as an affectionate term among friends. It means “idiot” (in the kindest way possible) 🙂

Personally I like the word….so let me give you some examples of my “eegit” behavior the past few days. If you look back up at the title photo you see three orange impatiens that I planted when I bought the bench a few weeks back.

If you look carefully…there seems to be a blank spot between the first plant and the other two….there is a reason for that…there should be four impatiens. A couple of nights ago…as darkness was descending rapidly I decided to get up off my “arse” and go water the impatiens….in spite of hungry mosquitoes waiting in attack mode.

I filled up two empty gallon milk cartons and headed outside…I counted the plants as I watered them…one, two, three, four. But then as I glanced back I could see a tall weed  beside the second one….so in my hurry to get back in…I quickly pulled it and dropped it behind some other bushes.

I was in Mt. Pleasant the next day and gone the next…so yesterday I went back out to water and there was the empty space. “Darn squirrels” I muttered to myself (I definitely “watered” that  “darn”response down)  shaking my head in frustration…it wasn’t until last evening that I realized I had pulled the impatiens up along with the weed. “Eegit!”

Besides pulling flowers and plants instead of weeds, I have driven past post offices, restaurants, deli’s, stores, dry cleaners, friends’ homes…you name it…I have “over shot” them or made the turn practically on two wheels at the last moment as imminent thoughts fill me … “Where am I going? I can’t believe I almost forgot the turn! Duh…EEGIT!”

I always pause and look around …as if I think some special patrol officer for “eegits” is monitoring my embarrassment with some kind of secret radar.

I know this excuse probably sounds like a “cop out” but maybe our human feeble brains just aren’t supposed to always run on high beam…maybe we need a vacation or a tour too. Just maybe not “getting with the program” is exactly what we need to do to remind ourselves that we are only human and as such prone to error and “eegitism.” 🙂  *(my newly created word)

So until tomorrow…“There is nothing in nature that blooms all the time…so don’t expect yourself to do so either.” (There is a reason for dormancy)

“Today is my favorite day” Winnie the Pooh

***I am beyond excited! The doorbell just rang and it was “Amazon” calling! I had ordered the second book in the Conor O’Shay” series actually Sunday afternoon and the book arrived last evening…one day…amazing amazon!

• If anybody else has recently experienced an “eegit” moment I would appreciate your story…”eegitism” loves company! 🙂

Garden beauties…