Chapel of Hope Stories

Dear Reader:

The other day a talk show was discussing the four components to raising well-rounded, secure children…it doesn’t time, money, an expensive car or home…it simply takes adults giving up their personal  “Presence” time to share thoughts together with others. (the most powerful gift of all adults can give their children.)

The authors list the four components as:

• Safe: We can’t always insulate a child from injury or avoid doing something that leads to hurt feelings. But when we give a child a sense of safe harbor, he/she will be able to take the needed risks for growth and change.
• Seen: Truly seeing a child means we pay attention to his/her emotions—both positive and negative—and strive to attune to what’s happening in his mind…beneath the behavior.
• Soothed: Soothing isn’t about providing a life of ease; it’s about teaching your child how to cope when life gets hard, and showing him/her that you’ll be there with him along the way. A soothed child knows that he’ll never have to suffer alone.
• Secure: When a child knows he/she can count on you, time and again, to show up—when you reliably provide safety, focus on seeing her, and soothe her in times of need, she will trust in a feeling of secure attachment. And thrive!

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I am giving a much appreciated shout-out to Dr. Montoya for “Showing Up” for me. She went the extra mile yesterday. I called and talked to Linda, one of the receptionists, and explained that I was slowly improving from my chest congestion with the exception of a wicked cough I could not only, not get rid of, but it kept me up all night every night…I was totally exhausted. Could she please find me something that would start knocking that cough out…my insides were sore from so much coughing.

I left a message…”Surprise me with your magic.” Dr. Montoya knew my body needed help to fight this congestion with the side effects of the drugs I am on… so she gave me two armed “body guards”- Amoxicillin and Benzonatate….two “body guards” that hopefully will kick “arse” and bring me back to “normalcy” peace and healing. Thank you so much ….I have never been so happy to start on drugs that will boost my energy level and healing capabilities.

How many of us have had to “show up” for a very difficult conversation in life- particularly involving serious conversations with loved ones? It isn’t easy is it…in fact it is downright scary. But we do it…we show up for life…because that is what life gives up…the ups and downs and everything in between.

The most important thing we can all do is keep showing up for life to let it know…regardless of what is going on…life is the most precious thing around and always worth fighting for…along with those who care for us. Invincible! *Hugs leaving for Cyberspace! 🙂

Dear Reader:

I am happy to announce that, as of yesterday, I rejoined the human race. Anne brought me some pasta and bread to try to get and keep something in my stomach and it worked. I have lost over ten pounds in the last two to three weeks.

The problem is trying to take the chemo medicines, along with congestion medicines without upsetting my stomach…not easy. Some days things work better than others. Over the weekend I experience a stomach “exorcism” where I think two weeks of “yuck” that had been stored came out any and every crevice. As bad as it was initially…it started the healing  through this ultimate “cleansing”process.

My biggest problem, however, has been my total lack of strength and stamina…with the white cell count so low…and my body trying to fight off the congestion crud…I have never felt  so completely depleted of energy.

I started thinking about the number of times I had read scripture asking for strength and I always took it to mean more emotional or spiritual strength than physical. This has changed. These days when I ask God for “strength” I mean physical strength to be able to walk from A to B without tiring.

Besides the pasta Anne was thinking about the book markers and name plates discussed in earlier blogs and as God’s Wink would have it this is the book marker she brought! The book marker reads:

May your spirits and strength be lifted by the wings of angels, your pathway guided by their hands, your heart made hopeful by their love.

I felt those old, almost forgotten stirrings of hope beaming back  as I ate some more food and actually tasted it for the first time in a long time. I felt myself interested in eating again…hallelujah!

I remember mother would always take us children (when we were little) to the beach in the late afternoon when the tide was going out leaving fun little pools for us to play in. Of course, as we got older…we decided it was more fun to go when the tide was coming in with all our floats…we could catch the best rides then.

The expression “the tide is turning” is fickle too…what once was… is now changing and for me…that is the best news every! I once was sick and now I am growing stronger each day and will soon be well! Thank you Father for Your strength in me. 

I prefer winter and Fall, when you feel the bone structure of the landscape — the loneliness of it, the dead feeling of winter. Something waits beneath it, the whole story doesn’t show. ~Andrew Wyeth

“Today is my favorite day”  Winnie the Pooh

Little tiny sun flowers are still trying to smile back at the sun…it is so fun to find them hiding behind rocks and fences…a lovely surprise on a rainy cool winter day.

Dear Reader:

True confession…you know the old brain is only functioning on a few neurons…when you forget to add the last section of your blog post. Remember how yesterday the importance of libraries on a child’s life was discussed, along with book markers and other vintage book apparel from the past?

Chris Frazier  sent me that adorable whimsical title drawing (thank you) and we explored the secret worlds of children who escape harsh reality conditions for imaginary places of acceptance through reading.

We also discussed the importance of vintage book markers and book plates and we wondered if children would welcome them today as a sign of ownership of a book…or simply as a gift from someone special.

I had planned to end the post yesterday with the phrase Ex Libris.…it stands out in my memory for two reasons.

As a small child I remember Grandmother Wilson opening a book she received one Christmas and crying out in delight over the book…but even more over the Ex Libris book plate with her name engraved in it. Grandmother had once been a teacher and had taught Latin. She adored books…no one could have given her anything better…I remember she kept running her fingers over the engraved letters of her name. This gift made her Christmas so special.

This phrase Ex Libris.…also saved me from the penetrating glare of Mrs. Harlowe…my Latin teacher. I had taken Latin in the 8th grade in Fayetteville but quite honestly I didn’t know squat about it. Mrs. Harlowe wanted me to re-take the course and start over with the regular ninth graders (after we moved to Laurens that summer)…but  mother insisted I move on to Latin II with the tenth graders. Mother won and I lost…big time.

I was completely clueless most of the year …but I did have one shining moment…and that was when we had to bring in a Latin word or expression that was still used today or at least its derivative was.

I ran to grandmother’s house and asked to borrow her book with the the vintage Ex Libris  engraved book plate. Grandmother hesitated so long I was scared she was going to tell me “no.” And I did feel the weight of the world on me as I carried her book wrapped in delicate tissue to school with me…I knew if something happened to that book I had better jump on the next train and keep going.

I recall my hands were shaking as I unwrapped the tissue and handed it to Mrs. Harlowe. Immediately the book caught her interest and she grabbed it out of my hands…she turned to the front and saw my grandmother’s name engraved in the front. I could tell she was admiring the handiwork…and it finally dawned on her what my connection to my grandmother Mary Ellen Wilson was…Grandmother was a quite respected Laurens resident.

From that day on…my life improved in her class… I think I even got a C at the end of the term….more for being my grandmother’s granddaughter than anything else…but hey, you take what life gives you…gratefully!

Ex Libris 

Dear Reader:

How many of you, growing up, wanted have a part in one of Jo’s skits in Little Women-like me, or dance with Winnie the Pooh, or separate the good witches from the bad ones, or ride a gentle giant lion? What a wonderful world stories give us to live in as children when reality sometimes gets too “real.”

So many of my fondest memories were spent in libraries growing up…I loved everything about them…the dusty smell, the old bookshelves, the whispers making echos and everything appear a little magical. Once a week mother would drop me off at the library so I could pick out a new book (hopefully Nancy Drew) or if not re-read one of my favorites of hers again. Those two hours I got to spend there were some of my happiest memories. The book would have to last me through the weekend…so I took my time looking through all my favorite collections.

And then one year for Christmas I, not only, got the latest book I had been waiting on for months…but a Nancy Drew book marker came with it…as part of a sales promotion. You would have thought I had won the lottery.

*It did get me thinking…if I loved book markers so much as a child…I wonder if my grandchildren would… so I have started looking around for some to order for future books in their interest areas. Here are some I have found to date!

Nancy Drew book markers for Eva Cate…Hot Wheel book markers for Jakie and sports/football markers for Rutledge and Lachlan. Oops and a Eloise book marker…for, of course, Eloise!

These days, waiting on the latest Louise Penny Detective story in the series reminds me of the long waits for another Nancy Drew mystery book. Maybe so much hasn’t changed after all? I am just coming full circle. I am just as impatient waiting at the age I am now…as I was as a nine and ten year-old!

The new book won’t appear until September 1, 2020. (September 1!!!!Good grief Charlie Brown!) Now this is ‘cruel and unusual punishment!’- to know it is ready but not available is agonizing.

The front cover of the book is, in fact, waiting on a front cover picture!

*I can draw a little red devil if that will speed things up! Pointed ears, a long tail, and a pitchfork…there, done…now let’s get this thing published! 🙂

So until tomorrow….”When I was young I admired clever people, now that I am old I admire kind people.” (who love to read!)

“Today is my favorite day”  Winnie the Pooh

*A shout-out to Chris Frazier for sending me the title picture…I love it…so whimsical…took me back down memory lane. Thanks for sharing Chris!!!! Hope you and your family are all doing well!

The Train

At birth we boarded the train and met our parents, and we believe they will always travel by our side. As time goes by, other people will board the train and they will be significant… i.e. our siblings, friends, children, strangers and the love of your life.

However at some distant point, some random station our parents will step down from the train, leaving us on this journey alone. Others will step down over time and leave a permanent vacuum.

Some, however, will go so unnoticed that we don’t realize they vacated their seats.

(*To me the train travelers who had the opportunity to interact and become a part of the others passengers’ lives but chose not to are the saddest passengers of all. They literally let life pass them by.)

This train ride will be full of joy, sorrow, fantasy, expectations, hellos, goodbyes, and farewells.

Success consists of having a good relationship with all passengers… requiring that we give the best of ourselves and leave a memory behind.

The mystery to everyone is: We do not know at which station we ourselves will step down. So we must live each day in the best way…love, forgive, and offer continuously the best of who we are,  it is important for us to do this because when the times comes for us to step down, and leave our seat empty we should leave behind beautiful memories for those who will continue to travel on the train of life.

I wish you a joyful journey for the coming years on your train of life. Reap success, give lots of love and be happy. More importantly, thank God for the journey!

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Wasn’t that metaphorical story beautiful? I loved it.

I have been so ‘out of it’ the past couple of weeks I haven’t read emails, very few texts or answered phone calls…it is like everything requires more strength than my body is willing to give. I keep trying to perk up and can do so for small increments of time…only to fall back in the recliner and curl up again. I will get over this but my poor immune system just isn’t working at full capacity so it is dragging out this annoying “inconvenience.” 🙂

One of my brightest moments, came last week, however, when my good friend and once teaching buddy at Alston, Lisa Register, called me out of the blue and told me that the time had come for her to follow her passion and dream…through her writings. She is so talented and her amazing story/journey has been waiting in the wings too long. Now Lisa is slowly freeing the story to take flight and tell the world how one long-ago incident, involving insurmountable tragedy, can now be used to guide others facing similar catastrophes to reaching that special place… the peace that surpasses all understanding.. 

The metaphor of  “The train” (Lisa shared with me) is just perfect for Lisa’s time and seat on her journey now.

*(There is still something so romantic about the beautiful old  European trains with the china and expensive glassware-gorgeous dining rooms…As a child I watched all the romantic black and white forties and fifties movies…longing to make such a journey on such an exquisite train…only to discover by the time I could… Amtrak had come along and sadly there is nothing very romantic about squeezing into tiny cubicles and standing up at snack bars with microwaves zapping our “food.”

Because Lisa is also a teacher (an amazing one) she is not only telling her story but creating guidelines to help fellow victims re-discover their spirituality throughout the long healing process paved by those who have come before.

I discovered The Train story because Lisa had dubbled in my name, along with other mentors throughout her train journey (life) and was thanking each of us for taking time to be there on the train for her when she needed it. (So sweet!)

After teaching together at Alston Middle for three years in the early nineties Lisa and I reconnected when she discovered my ChapelofHopeStories.com that first year I started it in 2010. It really was a God Wink that brought us back together again and is now reuniting us one more time. There are no coincidences so I know God has a plan for us both…being there for each other.

I had almost completed my second decade of teaching when Lisa started her teaching career at Alston. She was a bright ray of sunshine walking the long halls of Alston Middle…always with a smile on her face

So until tomorrow…A stranger looking at her picture today would think this young woman must not have a care in the world…how wrong they would be…this is the face of a person who has rediscovered herself and now is ready to help others do the same.

I will be talking more about Lisa as she continues her dream and passion telling her story…but today I just wanted to introduce you to this multi-talented teaching buddy of mine….like the passengers on the train we can all share compass directions… pointing each of us to our final destination.

“Today is my favorite day”  Winnie the Pooh’

Lisa texted me last night and asked if I would add this comment to the post even before it is posted. Thank you Lisa…what beautiful words…what a way to start the day.

Becky Dingle,  I am so blessed God has been crossing our paths throughout our lives.  It’s hard to believe we met in 1993 Teaching at Alston middle school You – 8thgraders : me – 6thgraders…we lost track of each other for a few years… after I Started teaching in Mount Pleasant …then we reconnected on Facebook…in 2010… just when I needed you the most… after a childhood friend of mine passed away at age 41…God reconnected you and I… you had just started writing your blog —chapel of hope stories… it was the spiritual influence I needed to start getting my relationship with God back in order— your first story referenced the book “God winks” and I immediately went out and bought that book.  I have been intentionally working daily on improving my spiritual life ever since!  You have given me a wonderful gift that will last a lifetime—I Love you friend🙏🏻💕

Dear Reader:

Entering the world of a two-year-old and seeing the world through their eyes is provocative, hilarious, and just pure fun! I managed to maneuver through the heavy morning traffic and get to Walsh and Mollie’s in time to see Lachlan before he left for pre-school and watch Mollie get off for her doctor appointment.

Normally as soon as Eloise senses Mollie is leaving… all kinds of melt-down variations transpire… but this time it was kinda funny…Eloise made two little strange, pitiful sounds and then stopped…like her heart just wasn’t in the drama queen role..and it was way too much effort for a melt-down so early in the morning. Instead we just started playing and never stopped until Mollie got home…except for some snacks.

Two-year-olds get a bad rap for the “Terrible Two’s” and their “tantrums” but since Eloise is my fifth grandchild I think I can safely say with some experience…that it is not the “two’s” you have to dread…but the threes. (All my grandchildren held out another year before letting loose with the tantrums.)

Look carefully at the title page…and spot the twinkle in Eloise’s eyes…two-year-olds always look like they have the most delightful secret…a wondrous secret…but they aren’t sharing it with anyone.

My other observation, made while playing with Eloise yesterday, is that two-year-olds think they magically disappear (whole body disappearance)…

1. IF they simply close their eyes
2. IF only their head is hidden

Don’t we all wish this were true…especially later in life? I can think back on some of the most embarrassing moments of my life as a youth and adult … wishing a gigantic hole (like a sink hole) would just swallow me up…or I could just close my eyes…and all the stares in the room would disappear with my own disappearance.

Mollie took us gals out for lunch yesterday when she got back and Eloise decided to eat the green crayon (what is it about children having to taste crayons?)..leaving her once-white t-shirt…tie-dyed. She had no problems with it…in fact she just wanted Mollie to sing a tune with her name in it…so she could do a little jig by our booth in the corner. Another wonderful trait of two-years…dancing for everyone to see is not a problem…just an expression of  amazing life in action.

So until tomorrow…I wish I could say my cough/congestion/cold crud disappeared amid all the fun and frivolity! Hack Hack…it didn’t but I sure had a good time and for several hours just enjoyed life…and hey, that’s not bad either!

“Today is my favorite day”  Winnie the Pooh

Last nine weeks Eva Cate made the A/B report card honor roll and I was beyond excited…as many of you know Eva Cate had to go back before she could go forward and was still struggling some and terrified of the third grade and here she had made the A/B Honor Roll the first term.

But she told me that she wanted to make the All A honor roll this nine weeks…I congratulated her on her grit and determination but reassured her that the A/B was really excellent too…And Lo and Behold she made the Straight A Honor Roll this term.

*When I asked Mandy who or what was turning the light of learning on to Eva Cate I was told it was her teacher…whom Eva Cate adores and she wanted to make the straight A’s for her…once again the power of a teacher…such an amazing calling and it is a calling.

Jake wanted to hold up his report card too and I was assured he was a very good little boy in his four year old compulsory class…I told Jakie of that I had no doubt! So proud of him too! Too cute!!

*Is it just me or are these report cards huge? I would sure hate to be the kid with the ‘not so great’ report card…it is like you are carrying a poster around with you advertising your lack luster results.

I found Tommy’s pre-school progress report and it was about a third the size of these report cards today the grandchildren brought home. One thing I can say is that you can’t hide them from your parents by stuffing’em in your backpack…they’re too big.

Mollie told me Berkeley’s report cards are 4,3,2,1 instead of letters…the times…they are a changing...I think one must need a map to decipher the report card findings. 🙂 Every district seems to do its own thing.

Dear Reader:

So much of my childhood was spent terrified that something would happen to mother and then what would happen to Ben, David, and me? A lingering question that brought tears to the surface in a matter of seconds.  Bone cancer in the fifties was still a relatively new science/disease and even with amputation…there were no guarantees that the bone cancer wouldn’t spread.

The first five years, especially, from ages 5-10 for me…was the scariest as mother had to stay overnight each year while doctors ran a battery of tests over and over and over again. My poor aunts had to console me throughout the whole stay…and went out of their way to do fun things to distract all of us.

And yet now when I go back down memory lane…it isn’t all doom and gloom in my memories…in fact by Junior High (in spite of buck teeth) I was pretty self-assured…especially for puberty. I was even voted ‘Best All Round’ in the seventh grade. So where had this new transition of the old me come from and who was responsible?

Mrs. Williams…my fifth grade teacher with the ‘polio’ paralyzed hand  ‘adopted’ me and made me her special project. I am sure she felt a kindred spirit for mother’s dilemma…and by the time fifth grade was over…I was a completely different child. Confident, funny, accepted by the other children and overall just a happy youth.

This happiness has continued to today. Besides being recognized for every fifth grade award given that year …she instilled in me the courage to face life head-on and always look on the bright side.

Every student in the world deserves a ‘Mrs. Williams’ somewhere along their educational journey…that one person who helps you see your true inner capabilities and possibilities.

Mrs. Williams was my “miracle worker”….my “teacher”…no doubt my guardian angel who picked me up, brushed me off, drove off the cobwebs of fear and insecurity and replaced them with laughter, humor, and confidence.

So until tomorrow…Yesterday when Mrs. Williams’s  name popped in my brain…I knew I needed to thank her again and let her know that her efforts were not in vain. To the best teacher in my world. Thank you Mrs. Williams and “Amen!”

Later, as a teacher, if I helped another student find their way…it was because of you showing me the ‘way and modeling the process for me.! 🙂

“Today is my favorite day”  Winnie the Pooh

*Off to keep little Eloise while Mollie has a doctor’s appointment today…looking forward to it…say a prayer there are no wrecks or driving problems on the interstate early this morning and I get there in plenty of time.

I can hardly wait to see what we are going to play today Eloise?

• If any of you are willing to share that special person in your life who helped you transition into the person you were destined to be I would love to hear from You! 🙂

Dear Reader:

The human brain amazes me more each day of my life. I fell asleep yesterday afternoon on the sofa and when I woke up some television show was on  with a main character named Joanne. Still semi-conscious and half-dazed suddenly I was back in Fayetteville, North Carolina riding the school bus with my best friend Joanne. (I can’t even remember her last name but I remember every detail of how she looked, her voice, and the friendship bond we had for four years growing up.)

From third grade through sixth grade Joanne was my seating bus partner…my protector!  How quickly we forget the importance of having a best friend for a buddy partner on the bus…without one…left to the randomness of fate a school child can have a pretty miserable bus experience…teased by other children about whatever physical flaw could be emphasized making one the laughing stock of the bus.

Joanne’s and my physical flaws were comparable in judgement. I was teased and called “Bucky Beaver” because my front teeth separated and then stuck out. I would try so hard not to smile…but it just wasn’t in my nature and as soon as I did…the teasing started.

Joanne pretty blue eyes appeared too close together…from a distance crossed (though  in reality they weren’t) and she had to wear these big old “coca-cola bottle” glasses that kept falling down her nose.

We were quite the pair…”Bucky Beaver and “Coke Bottle Eyes.” We would defend each other from taunts and felt like we could take on the whole world. The bad part was when one of us got sick or missed school…our security was gone…and the day went downhill rapidly.

The worst day of my life was the first day of school being bused all the way out to almost Fort Bragg (Civil rights busing had just become law) to the new Horace Sisk Junior High…no trees, flat as a pancake edifice in once what had been a cow pasture…the dreariest school you ever saw and now Joanne had moved and I was all alone with my buck teeth traveling twice the old distance as before.

One new student took pity on me and somehow I made it through that year and the next before we moved to Laurens where I started high school. Memories of too many “Bucky Beaver” comments had me issuing my final ultimatum to mother…the only way I was going to move and go to a new high school was if I had braces….“Take or leave it.” (Normally I really wasn’t that defiant…but I was desperate…I simply refused to start a new school without braces…I couldn’t face my high years as “Bucky Beaver” too.

Aunt Eva was my superhero…back then braces were very expensive and you had to wear them for years….but Eva went to bat for me…(I imagine even helping out with the expenses) so on the first day of school in Laurens, South Carolina I proudly wore my braces!

I didn’t get my braces off until the day before senior pictures…I stayed up all night to make sure my hair would be straight and not frizzy and for the first time I smiled back at the photographer…a feeling of total victory.

And strangely enough the first person I wanted to tell about this long-awaited personal victory was Joanne. Joanne with the straight as a stick hair-do (straight bangs and sides that I envied since straight hair was huge in the sixties)

I wanted to write her and thank her for being there for me when I needed a friend so badly…and that I hoped she, too, had experienced her day of overdue “reckoning”… that the coke bottle glasses were long-gone and her contacts showed off her beautiful blue eyes.

So until tomorrow….I think angels appear when we most need them in the form of little girl loyal friends who fight off  childhood detractors on buses. Guardian angels who reassure each other that their time is coming…Cinderella will appear one day for each! Never give up hope.

Joanne…wherever you are today…please know how much your friendship meant to me… it made childhood so much more bearable!

“Today is my favorite day”  Winnie the Pooh

I DID IT!!!! WITH A WHOPPING FIFTEEN DOLLARS AND 31 CENTS LEFT IN MY CHECKING ACCOUNT…I MADE IT THROUGH JANUARY TO SOCIAL SECURITY DAY PENSION

! I KNEW I COULD DO IT…ACTUALLY THE CHEST CONGESTION WITH LOTS OF YOUR SOUPS PROBABLY FILLED IN THAT LAST WEEK’S MEALS ON THE ROAD TO VICTORY….A SILVER LINING IN EVERY CLOUD!

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A special shout-out to Sharon Joyce from Forest Home, AL who sent me the prettiest thank-you card with such a caring message about spreading “Kindness, love, and peace around the world.” It made my day. And the smaller card  placed inside sums up the message…

Dear Reader:

Sometimes we just have to make ourselves get up and get out. This happened yesterday…all weekend I had slept around the clock…I mean how much sleep can one person get?

No fever, not contagious…just a viral chest cold that has to run its course…not fun but not life-threatening by any means…just a serious annoyance with lingering “blahs, accompanied by the infamous malaise of chronic fatigue.

Certainly we have to be checked to make sure we don’t have a chronic disease or bacterial problem…. something that needs to be treated with anti-biotics or different medicines…but the normal cold/congestion/cough is a viral condition that lingers and then leaves when it pretty much feels like it.

After a whole weekend of sleeping through it…I discovered sleep is not a cure…restful…but no cure. In fact after awhile…too much isolation can be more detrimental than reaching out for social contact.

Tommy, Kaitlyn, and I have been trying to get together for weeks on weeks to get Tommy’s birthday change jar to him along with some personal artifacts I found over Christmas that I knew he would want to keep…and he did. Tommy has had the same chest cold/congestion, like me, but he said that Monday would suit him and Kaitlyn best to meet for lunch.

Finally…we had lift-off! It was a chilly day but it turned out to be a delicious meal for all of us who ordered different entrees.  Tommy was treated like royalty and given an extra dessert to take home, a candle on his cake, and mini-champagne cocktails for all of us…everything over our basic meals were paid for by the restaurant as  gifts celebrating Tommy’s very belated birthday.

I was really impressed! All the waiters and waitresses went the ‘extra mile’ to make us feel special. *If first impressions are lasting…I will be returning a lot!

But the best medicine in the world was having time to talk, laugh, share updates, and  see photos of Tommy & Kaitlyn’s  new Air B&B rooms…They are hoping to have their first guests in February. Still more additions to the rooms to be added… but all the construction, electricity, plumbing, painting, etc is done now. (A little visual hint of two rooms)

If the motto of real estate is “Location, location, location...anyone would be hard pressed to find an air b&b for any tourist… better located than Tommy and Kaitlyn’s duplex. Only minutes away from the Charleston beaches and historical downtown Charleston.

*I will definitely share pictures with you when they finish the last fixings…excited for them.

Then to end the outing on just the right note…Dr. Jeter’s office called and left a message that my chest x-ray was clean!!! (When you have breast cancer and chest congestion there is always the niggling fear that something else might show up on a chest x-ray)…so my world felt lighter returning than going! It is just as Dr. Jeter thought…a viral cough that will run its course in due time.

So until tomorrow…It is true...”People who need people are the luckiest people in the world”– Anne texted yesterday morning to check to see if I needed any more soup, Susan stopped by with some, Vickie made me soft molasses cookies because they melt in your mouth. Staying in or out...there is no doubt at all… I am one of the luckiest people in the world.”

“Today is my favorite day”   Winnie the Pooh

Dear Reader:

I used to think the three most important words in the world were “I love you” and they still are when they are meant or feelings are still intact.  But man is fickle by nature and too often the words die faster on the vine than time needed to fix the problem.

So with age…I think now I would prefer someone telling me “You matter.” “You matter in my life, you matter in our children’s lives, in our family’s lives, in the work force, in daily routines…you matter to me in life. The world wouldn’t be the same without you.”

Sunday, as I sat in my recliner…whooping and hollering and whooping some more with the Four C “Cruds”….Cold, Congestion, Chest, Cough!” Or simply cough, cough, cough, cough, cough.

I never heard back from my chest x-ray (I was sent to the hospital to get Thursday morning)…so I figure it must have been what the vast majority of these chest congestion problems are (as I was informed)…viral. Antibiotics won’t do the trick…just time and a little cough medicine along the way. Cough! Cough!

I slept most of yesterday away….it was so gloomy when I would wake up…I couldn’t tell if it was early morning the next day or simply the same cloudy day from the same morning turned afternoon…(which it turned out to be.)

Sweet Vickie brought over delicious soup and bread which I gulped down…first food all day and for the first time I was actually hungry…figure that was a good sign on the road to recovery.

Parts of one show I was still alert enough to watch yesterday morning was a segment from CBS Sunday Morning NEWS…my weekly favorite show. One segment, particularly spoke to me….re-enforcing once again that it is not the big things in life that make the most difference in someone’s life… sometimes it is the smallest things.

At 19, Kevin Hines jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge. He said if just one person had spoken to him and told him they cared…he wouldn’t have jumped…he was just in so much pain…completely isolated with bi-polar disorder…blaming himself for causing his family distraught.

At the last second…he thought the miracle had happened…but it was  simply a woman asking him to take her picture on the bridge. He took it, turned around and jumped…breaking his back but against all odds surviving.

He later explained “I needed to hear “I was a good person and I had value” ...I just needed that reaffirmation so desperately.” Today he tours the country talking about his experiences but also about the power of a post card, a note, a physical hug with verbal acceptance of him unconditionally. All miracle workers!

Sadly suicide is on the rise…the highest since World War II. In 2018 1 1/2 million Americans attempted suicide. Many psychiatrists have started sending upbeat “You matter to me” cards to their patients instead of just handing them an appointment card. The doctors are writing encouraging words about their progress and how proud they are of the patient… sending out monthly personal notes/cards instead of a cold appointment reminder.

Examples like” “Together we can do this”….”We really can!” “Believe in me…because I believe in you.” ” I will never not be there when you need me.”

In a studied group session…where half of the psychiatric suicide patients were put back in society…those who received cards had half the suicide rate of those who only got appointments.

So until tomorrow perhaps less is best in reaching out to our fellow man when they most need to feel a part of the human race- two word “You matter” and “Just stay” might be the most powerful of all.

“Today is my favorite day”  Winnie the Pooh

*I am going to have to see if Luke can bring Big Red in tomorrow…Tuesday morning and Wednesday morning will be below freezing…and “Big Red”s blooms are starting to pop out all over.

*I have mentioned several times that my sense of smell has been compromised by so much chemo over the years… but now and then it pops up and surprises me…making it a gift worth waiting on. Yesterday it was the tea olive bushes in full bloom that caught my scent when I walked out on the deck….I could have just floated away in that scent.

Oops! I blew it again! I always get Marcia Temple’s birthday mixed up with the wrong Barbour…I want to put Marcia and Bekah’s Oct 19 birthday on the same date instead of Marcia and Lee’s birthday on January 19, yesterday. I think my neurons are getting crossed in my brain the older I get. Spreadsheet someone PLEASE!

So here’s a BIG SHOUT OUT TO  Marcia Temple…Mollie’s sweet mom…just wished we lived closer. And I will have to make a true confession Marcia…I am admittedly a little jealous now that Whitney has little Finn…because you are beating me…6 grandchildren to my five. UMMMMMMM?????

Mollie sent me these fun photos of Bruce, Mollie’s husband and five of the grandchildren taken outside D.C. where part of the family gathered right after Christmas! Too funny…the kind of photos you laugh about forever…fuzzy, antsy and hysterical. And there was still little Finn who couldn’t make the trip. All tied up now…three boys and three girls!

*Don’t forget it is MLK Day…do something to help someone else today to honor King’s legacy.