Can’t Help Ourselves…Unsolicited…Yet Excellent Advice!

*(Emily McDowell Art Studio)

Dear Reader:

I gave the Ya’s each a set of these funny stickies since we were all laughing about turning into those “parents” and “grandparents” who can’t help themselves…but must impart their wisdom on everything to everyone in the family. Count me in this group! 🙂 *(My children’s heads are nodding about now)

First, let me explain the irony of this position that most parents of grown children, or grandparents or siblings, aunts, uncles…cousins…find themselves in when it comes to helping others make big decisions. We, ourselves, of course, hate unsolicited advice.

Especially when it arrives in the form of unsolicited telephone calls. Don’t you despise these interruptions during your day? I keep getting more and more of them…my poor little ole’ IPhone tries to warn me with messages like SCAM LIKELY but that doesn’t stop them….I still have to stop what I am doing, find them, and delete them.

*I even tried contacting a federal agency about them and instead got some federal communication propaganda message on this or that bill that had passed and how much better this problem is now than it used to be?????

I thought “You’ve got to be kidding…this problems is ten-fold worse now than in years past for me”…and apparently others agreed as I had to laugh at their comments to this propaganda message…one responder said  “Are you living on another planet…or do you get a federal break from these insistently annoying unsolicited telephone calls from writing that false communication letter…getting better…it is terrible!!!!!!!!!!”

So I think we can all agree that unsolicited phone calls are up there with finger nails on a black board. Every day, about 45 million spam text messages are sent to North American cellphones. After reading several options on how to try to rid yourself of them…I discovered that there are more warnings than options. If you respond… many use this to put you at the top of the list and others start sending crude vulgar messages back.

Unwanted advice or information IS irritating…to put it mildly…yet aren’t we all guilty sometimes of giving advice when it isn’t asked of us in the first place? Okay, okay…I confess that I just can’t help myself sometimes…chalk it up to age and experience…I really just want to help my adult “children” not make the same mistakes I did.

Surely in retrospect my “wisdom” can help someone else not make the same choice or mistake I did with a similar situation now for them. Nope…it doesn’t work that way.

We humans are wired strangely…there is just no other way to explain it. We don’t like hearing advice about a choice before we make it…but suddenly when we feel low and badly about a situation the first person we want to talk to…is still mom or dad …perhaps a grandparent…aunt or uncle. And now we listen to their advice.

In other words preventive “unsolicited yet excellent advice” never works! We humans apparently must make our own mistakes, dig ourselves out of the lowest trenches, and then we are ready to listen.

Metaphorically…it is similar to preventive medicine. We know if we smoke or drink too much or over-take prescription drugs or over-eat or never exercise…we are playing roulette with our health. But then if something happens and we get a scary diagnosis or find ourselves in a critical life-altering situation…suddenly we are “all ears.”

Every now and then, in a rare moment, I get a text thanking me for some information or advice I gave…I keep these locked up in electronic favorite folders…but more so …in my heart.

One day dear “children” you will feel the sting of rejection when no one wants your opinion any more (it’s all part of your children growing up)….after making thousands of choices for your own little children for years…it will be hard to let go.

The clock is ticking…before you know it…your precious little children (my adorable grandchildren) will start rolling their eyes at your advice (believe me by their teenage years you will have become a moron again) and their exaggerated sighs… will be loud enough to send geese scattering back to Canada.

So enjoy the moment and remember Boo’s forewarning.. today’s toddler and pre-school temper tantrums aren’t fun…but compared to teenage antics…you will look back longingly at the ‘good old days.’

So until tomorrow….”You’re welcome for all the advice!” 🙂

“Today is my favorite day”  Winnie the Pooh

It took awhile for the storm (associated with the impending weather front to arrive)… It was after seven…but I was delighted to see it and will be even happier with the cooler weather tomorrow. (Anne just stepped outside and texted me to say the temps are already dropping) She was already happy….look! Two moon flower blooms…the first of the season!

Happiness is…I took Luke and Chelsey’s photo by “Little Big Red” yesterday evening…there are five potential buds blooming or about to bloom…thanks Chelsey for saving and cloning “Big Red.”

*** Today’s blog is number 1700 since November 24, 2014. Then add on the number of blogs written since the original first blog message started- July 2010 until Nov 24, 2014 – (2,177) and add them together…I have written to date 3, 877 blog posts in total…give or take a few. 🙂

About Becky Dingle

I was born a Tarheel but ended up a Sandlapper. My grandparents were cotton farmers in Laurens, South Carolina and it was in my grandmother’s house that my love of storytelling began beside an old Franklin stove. When I graduated from Laurens High School, I attended Erskine College (Due West of what?) and would later get my Masters Degree in Education/Social Studies from Charleston Southern. I am presently an adjunct professor/clinical supervisor at CSU and have also taught at the College of Charleston. For 28 years I taught Social Studies through storytelling. My philosophy matched Rudyard Kipling’s quote: “If history were taught in the form of stories, it would never be forgotten.” Today I still spread this message through workshops and presentations throughout the state. The secret of success in teaching social studies is always in the story. I want to keep learning and being surprised by life…it is the greatest teacher. Like Kermit said, “When you’re green you grow, when you’re ripe you rot.”
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4 Responses to Can’t Help Ourselves…Unsolicited…Yet Excellent Advice!

  1. bcparkison says:

    I guess it is just human nature we all have to learn our lessons the hard way. It is heart breaking but just part of life.
    Little big red is looking super.

  2. Beverly Dufford says:

    So proud of Little Big Red. I second that “thank you” to Chelsey. Congratulations, Becky, on 3, 877 blog posts. Thanks and please keep posting.

    • Becky Dingle says:

      “Dum spero spiro”…While I breathe I hope….new SC licenses plates…I think my car should read “Dum spero blog-oh” While I breathe I blog….no blog…no breath! 🙂 Will continue!

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